Cowgirl Heartaches
by flooj9235
Summary: Directly follows "Rosie's Heart." After Cass' heart condition acts up, she does her best to ignore it and her growing feelings for a certain Brotherhood Scribe. Accidents happen, and Cass makes a drunken mistake, only to realize just how much she cares about Veronica. Mostly fluffy and angsty, with a bit of adventure thrown in. Femslash.
1. Chapter 1

Cass dealt herself another hand of solitaire and sipped at the bottle of whiskey at her elbow. It was the middle of the night, and she sat alone in the kitchen, sprawled out at the large dining table. It hadn't been her plan to take a nap directly after arriving back at the Lucky 38, but she figured she needed it, especially after her heart had decided to go haywire.

She frowned down at the cards, peeking at the next one in the deck. "Aw, fuck." She tossed the deck onto the table and leaned back in her chair, rubbing a hand over her face.

No matter how many games Cass dealt, she hadn't been able to get Veronica's words out of her head. It didn't sit right with her knowing that she'd upset the brunette, and Cass scowled at herself every time she remembered Veronica admitting that she'd been scared. She was just Cassidy, the caravan driver that no one gave two shits about unless she was late.

Until she'd joined Six's band of misfits, anyway. The courier was quiet but always knew ways to accomplish what they needed to do, and Cass admired Six's resourcefulness. Arcade was fun to trade insults with, and he gave as good as he got. He wasn't much for a drinking buddy, but Cass figured that had to do with his Followers affiliation, not that she knew for sure. Veronica, though… She was a piece of work. She'd near enough driven Cass crazy with how talkative and bright she was. As soon as Cass had gotten over her irritation at Veronica's consistently good mood and bright smile, she'd found that she had a soft spot for the brunette. She'd hesitated to call them friends for a long time, but the Brotherhood scribe was one of the first people Cass had met in a long time that she felt like she could really trust.

Still, Cass wasn't quite sure how to handle being worried about. It made something inside her feel strange, and she hadn't ever liked being responsible for someone else's feelings. She ran away from her problems. That was why caravan life had appealed to her so much.

She snorted slightly, reaching for her bottle. Veronica wasn't a problem, of course, not in the slightest. But Cass didn't understand why the brunette had even bothered to befriend her, much less worry over her. She'd been cantankerous at first, determined to keep the courier and the rest of the group at arm's length.

Cass wasn't stupid. She knew that whatever the hell this friendship was with Veronica, it was closer than she'd allowed anyone to get since… well, ever.

A door opened out in the suite, and footsteps thudded across the common room, muffled by the thick carpet. Cass cocked her head and listened, glad she'd left the kitchen door ajar. Water ran from the bathroom sink, the old pipes clanging when the water shut off. After a few seconds there was the sound of a door closing, and Cass nodded to herself and settled back into her chair, returning to her thoughts.

"Cass?"

The redhead nearly jumped out of her skin. "Jesus! What the hell—?" She turned and saw Veronica standing in the doorway, her irritation melting away at the sight of the brunette.

Veronica's hair was sticking up in a few places, but her eyes were focused on Cass even as she squinted in the light. "Sorry," she said after a moment. "I didn't think… You're not a ghost, right?"

Cass snorted. "Not so far as I can tell." She thumped her fist against her chest and grinned. "See, solid."

Veronica smiled and rubbed at her eyes. "Are you still okay?"

The redhead nodded. "Dumbass idea to take a nap. Now it's middle'a the night and I can't sleep. Figured I'd play some cards until I passed out or Blondie came in to make breakfast."

"Arcade makes good scrambled gecko eggs," Veronica pointed out, defending the doctor gently.

Cass pretended to mull it over, then nodded as though it pained her. "I s'pose."

Veronica lingered in the doorway for a moment, then nodded toward the cards on the table. "Can I join you?"

"Aren't you tired?" Cass quirked a brow at the scribe, but went ahead and gathered up the cards.

Veronica shrugged and slipped into the seat across from Cass. "Caravan?" she asked hopefully.

"Five card stud." Cass grinned when Veronica rolled her eyes, dealing out the cards.

The brunette was uncharacteristically quiet, even when Cass factored in the late hour. There was vague distress in Veronica's eyes, but Cass didn't know what to say or how to ask about it. She opted to go easy on the scribe, but Veronica's mind was obviously elsewhere; even with Cass playing to lose, the redhead still came out ahead.

"Sorry," Veronica sighed, burying her face in her hands and rubbing at her eyes. "I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

Cass shuffled quietly, then set the deck aside. "Everything okay?" she asked hesitantly. The words felt funny coming out of her mouth but Cass resisted the urge to make a face.

Veronica shrugged and folded her arms on the table, resting her head on them. "Bad dream," she murmured dismissively. "Go ahead and deal again if you want. I'm just resting my eyelids."

Cass smirked and took another drink from her whiskey bottle. "Naw, that's okay." She sat back in her chair and enjoyed the brunette's presence for a few minutes, her thoughts calmer with Veronica there.

After a while, it became apparent that Veronica was dozing off, and Cass nudged the scribe's foot with her own. The brunette gave a soft grunt and turned her head, but didn't stir.

Cass shook her head and got up, moving to Veronica's side. "C'mon, Ronnie," Cass murmured, guiding the half-asleep scribe to her feet. The brunette swayed slightly, but Cass caught her arm and looped it over her own shoulders. "I gotcha."

She led the scribe back to her bed, easing her down into the softness of her covers. Veronica hummed contentedly, sinking against her pillow and sighing.

Cass draped the covers over Veronica gently, trying not to disturb her, but was surprised when Veronica reached up and caught her shirt collar. The cowgirl followed Veronica's gentle tug easily, only to find herself wrapped up in Veronica's arms.

The brunette sleepily tucked her head against Cass' chest. "Good," she mumbled. "Still beating."

"Course it is," Cass replied gently, not quite sure what to do about the affectionate embrace that had her trapped.

Veronica turned her head and nuzzled her face into Cass' collarbone, then released the redhead and dropped back onto her pillow. She sighed out a "g'night", drifting off to sleep almost immediately.

Cass stared down at her, still trying to figure out the lingering sensation of Veronica's arms around her. It took her a few minutes to step away from Veronica's bedside, but she found that she didn't feel like playing any more solitaire. Cass stood there for a long time, finally deciding to crawl into her bed.

Sleep didn't come easy for Cass, and she laid there for hours, listening to the sound of Veronica's even breathing. She could still feel Veronica's head cradled against her chest when she finally fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

"Cass, wake up."

The redhead rolled over and muffled her greeting of choice into her pillow.

Arcade sighed and gave her ankle a tug. His eyes were twinkling with mirth when Cass yelped and nearly fell out of the bed, but he kept his face remarkably calm. "Good morning, Sunshine," he deadpanned. "I've been elected to inform you that breakfast is being served in the kitchen. Well, 'elected' isn't really the right word." He tapped at his chin thoughtfully. "Coerced, maybe. Or sacrificed. Anyway, I drew the short straw and had to enter the lion's den."

Cass groaned and fell back against her pillow. "Gannon, I swear to god…"

"Don't forget Six wants to head down to the Outpost," Arcade said as he headed for the door. "And you're going to need more than whiskey to make that walk."

Cass flashed her middle fingers at his back and rolled over to bury her face in the pillow. She was tempted to stay in bed for hours, just to prove that she didn't appreciate the wake up call, but a few minutes later, her stomach mutinied. The grumbling of her empty belly made Cass sigh defeatedly, and she dragged herself out of her bed and ambled to the bathroom.

By the time Cass took a seat at the table, Six was already off gearing up for the trip and Veronica was doing the dishes.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Veronica teased when she noticed Cass was in the room.

Cass grunted and pulled the plate of leftover pancakes toward herself. They were cold, but still edible, and definitely better than nothing. Veronica set a mug of coffee down beside her plate and slipped away to get ready.

The redhead sipped at it, surprised that the drink was still warm. A slight smile passed across her face and she finished her breakfast in a much better mood.

Six was ready to go before Cass could even find her boots. She scrambled to get dressed, putting on her worn leather jacket in favor of armor. Shotgun in hand, Cass joined the group in the common room only slightly out of breath.

Arcade saw them off, making the excuse that he couldn't go along because Julie Farkas needed him for medical emergencies. "Or, you know, watching plants grow so I can run tests on them," he quipped with a roll of his eyes. The blond chuckled and wished them safe travels, then disappeared with a book in hand.

The trio set out, heading out of New Vegas and south. The path to Sloan was heavily infested with deathclaw, so Six aimed the group toward Novac. With the sun hot overhead, the group began the long trek, picking off gecko and raiders along the way.

Despite the heat, Veronica was as perky as ever. She told jokes and made her companions laugh, though even she ran out of steam after a while.

Six turned on his Pipboy radio, tuning it to Radio New Vegas, and they walked along in relative silence. The songs were tinny through the Pipboy's speakers, but still recognizable, and the music helped the miles pass under the group's feet.

It was just after high noon when they arrived at the 188 Trading Post. They were all hungry, and Cass plopped at one of the rickety picnic tables while Six and Veronica went to get some food.

The trading post was relatively deserted, so when Veronica and Six sat down, the merchants there joined them. Veronica was immediately drawn into the conversation, talking and laughing as she ate. Six joined in occasionally, helping to embellish a story or two, but Cass sat there and ate quietly.

The stories were entertaining, but Cass couldn't quit studying the camaraderie between Veronica and the merchants. She knew Veronica had spent quite a bit of time at the 188, but it hadn't ever occurred to her that the scribe could have enjoyed it. It was obvious that Veronica had built quality relationships with the merchants, and Cass was sure she saw Veronica and the young woman that ran the restaurant exchanging meaningful glances.

Cass finished her lunch sourly, dropping her gaze to the table top and fiddling with a bent nail. She didn't know why it surprised her to see Veronica surrounded by people that obviously enjoyed her company; the scribe was perhaps one of the friendliest people Cass had ever met. Still, it felt almost wrong to be sitting there and listening to the conversation that she wasn't part of.

The redhead had spent many evenings soul searching over a bottle of whiskey, and she knew she wasn't exactly likeable. She considered the friends she'd had, realizing she'd driven most of them away or they'd taken a few too many bullets from Khans and Raiders. Thinking about losing Veronica didn't sit well with the cowgirl, and she looked up and studied the scribe again.

Veronica was laughing, her eyes bright and warm. She seemed to sense Cass looking at her and glanced over, flashing the redhead a grin before continuing to talk to the merchants.

Cass' stomach twisted and she looked back down at her hands. Veronica was warm and friendly, nothing like Cass, and there was nothing stopping the brunette from moving on and finding good friends that were good people. It wasn't hard to imagine Veronica packing her bags and leaving to be with someone that made her happy, and Cass felt somewhat like she was being stabbed.

"'Scuse me," Cass muttered, getting up and dumping her trash in the barrel at the edge of the bridge. She started walking across the bridge, putting some distance between herself and the full table as she fished a bottle of whiskey out of her bag.

Cass uncorked the bottle and tossed the cork away, then took a long drink and hefted herself up on the back of an old military truck. She sat there and stared off at New Vegas, watching the distant city dance in the shimmering heat.

Footsteps crunched up behind her, and Cass didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"Cass?" Veronica's voice was concerned and gentle. "Everything okay?"

"Yep. Perfect." The redhead scowled at the distant skyline of New Vegas. "You don't gotta keep babyin' me, y'know. Just 'cause I got a heart that craps out on me every couple'a months doesn't mean shit. I'm a grown ass woman and don't need anyone takin' care'a me."

Veronica was quiet for a few minutes, and Cass could feel the way the words stung. "Okay," she said finally. "I'll… sorry."

The redhead squared her shoulders and didn't look back as Veronica walked away, pretending she didn't have a care in the world. _Fuckin' perfect, Cassidy, _she snarled inwardly._ Nice job makin' her feel like shit. _

Cass took another long drink, draining her whiskey bottle, then threw it against the concrete. The bottle shattered with an explosive crash, and Cass scowled at the shards of glass. She knew she was lashing out for the wrong reasons, but it was better than admitting what was really bothering her.

She sat there and stewed for a while, glowering out across the desert until Six came calling for her.

"Cass, we're headin' out! Hurry up if you don't wanna get left behind!"

"Coming, don't get your panties in a twist!" She managed a wry grin when the courier laughed, hopping off the old truck and trudging back across the bridge.

Cass stopped at the merchants' stand and bought a few more bottles of whiskey. She wasn't blind to the concern on the old man's face, so she offered him what she hoped was an amiable smile and paid him extra to apologize for her behavior at lunch.

Cass jogged down the slope to catch up with Six and Veronica, soothed by the sound of bottles clinking in her bag. She noticed almost immediately that the scribe shifted to put Six between them, and Cass pretended she didn't care.

The walk to Novac was painfully quiet. Cass and Six tried to talk a few times, but without Veronica jumping in, the words withered into silence almost immediately. Six finally asked Veronica if she had realized she'd rather stay at the 188, but the scribe shook her head and continued walking.

Not even a coyote attack could start a conversation, and as the miles passed under their feet, Cass continued berating herself. She deserved the cold silence, but it didn't make it any less uncomfortable. The redhead dug out one of her whiskey bottles, sipping at it sullenly as they continued along the old stretch of highway.

By the time the big dinosaur statue came into view, the sun was setting and the group was weary. Six led the women to the makeshift restaurant, paying for their meals.

Cass was vaguely glad there was only a bar to sit at; it was familiar, and it also meant that she wouldn't have to sit across from Veronica and see the hurt on the scribe's face.

Six rented out two rooms at the motel, deciding that he would gather his friend and that the women would take one room, and the men would take the other. He shot Cass a challenging stare when Veronica wasn't looking, then bid the women goodnight and headed for the dinosaur.

Cass swallowed, fingering the key the woman at the motel desk had handed her. She glanced over at Veronica uncertainly, then started for their room. The redhead fumbled with the key slightly, then managed to push the door open. Cass stepped aside and let Veronica enter first, following the brunette quietly.

They deposited their gear on the table inside the room, both obviously relieved to set their packs down. The scribe didn't say anything, and instead went rifling through her bag until she pulled out some pajamas.

Cass wasn't sure what to do, and the silence was killing her. The scribe was right there in front of her, yet Cass found herself missing her. She was about to open her mouth when the brunette finally spoke.

"Do you want to wash up first?" Veronica asked, her voice decidedly neutral.

Cass shrugged, motioning that Veronica have the first turn in the bathroom. Those were the first words the brunette had said to her since Cass snapped at her, and the cowgirl didn't like the masked hurt in them.

The brunette nodded once and disappeared into the little bathroom. A few seconds later, water started running.

Cass dropped into the old chair, grunting. Her legs and feet ached, and for a few moments, sitting down was too relieving to think about anything else. The sound of Veronica in the bathroom brought her thoughts back to the situation, though, and the redhead cringed.

Apologies weren't high on her list of favorite things, but Cass knew it needed to be done. She couldn't stand having Veronica hurting because of her.

After a few more minutes, the water shut off, and Cass prepared herself for the scribe's return. The door to the bathroom opened, and Veronica slipped out, toweling off her hair and avoiding Cass' gaze.

The redhead opened her mouth, but words failed her. She hated herself for chickening out and took her turn in the bathroom, showering quickly and putting her traveling clothes back on. Her brain was buzzing with different things to say, and by the time Cass stepped back into the motel room, she felt as prepared as she could get.

Veronica was sitting on the edge of the bed, and she rubbed at her face quickly when she heard the door open. The scribe stretched and remained quiet, pretending nothing was wrong.

The redhead couldn't take it anymore, and finally opened her mouth. All the speeches she'd thought up in the bathroom fled from her mind, so she just went with her gut and started talking. "Shit, Ronnie," Cass groaned. "I'm sorry. I was pissed 'n I don't handle it well."

Veronica looked surprised to be spoken to, but she gave the cowgirl a dry look. "No kidding."

Cass resisted the urge to glare at her friend. After all those uncomfortable hours not speaking to Veronica, she wanted to avoid pissing the scribe off at all costs. She reached into her bag and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, taking a swig and hoping the familiar burn would calm her. The alcohol was pleasant, but didn't soothe the redhead in the slightest. Cass frowned and tucked the bottle away, training an uneasy look on the scribe.

"I wasn't trying to smother you," Veronica admitted, picking at the blanket. "It's just… I don't know, Cass. I don't have many friends, and it scared me when I thought I was gonna lose you. I didn't want to risk ignoring something and…" She looked away, biting her lip.

"Them folks at the 188 seemed like pretty good friends'a yours," Cass muttered before she could stop herself. The cowgirl wanted to kick herself the second she realized how bitter her tone had been. "Goddamn it. I'm real shitty at this whole 'conversation' thing."

Veronica looked mildly amused. "Michelle and Sam are nice people. They always kept an eye out for me. But… I wouldn't call them 'friends', y'know? Or… I don't know." She let out a little laugh, but it didn't sound sincere. "I guess I haven't had enough friends to know what a friend really is."

Cass blinked. "You're shittin' me."

The brunette shook her head. "Just Christine, Six, and you. And Christine's been gone for a long time." She stared into space for a few moments, then shook her head and crawled into the bed.

Cass was quiet for a few moments, then dropped her pants and slid into the other half of the bed. She tucked an arm behind her head and sighed. "Always figured you wouldn't have an enemy in the world."

Veronica snorted, reaching for the lamp and turning it out. The room was bathed in darkness and quiet, but she spoke again a few minutes later. "Most people just want me as far away from them as possible. I cause problems for everyone."

"Bullshit."

"The Brotherhood's been on lockdown for years, Cass," Veronica responded bitterly. "I'm pretty much the only that ever leaves, and as soon as I get back, people find excuses to get me to leave again. They're my family, but…"

The redhead frowned up into the darkness, angry that anyone would try and get rid of Veronica. "Don't sound like much of a family to me."

Veronica didn't answer, rolling over and curling up on her side.

Cass cringed when she sensed how upset the scribe was. "Sorry," she mumbled again. "Guess I'm not really one to talk. Family ain't meant shit to me, not since Dad up and left, and Ma croaked." She rubbed a hand over her face and sighed; opening up about her past wasn't natural to her. "But the way I figure, family's people that give a shit about you. And it doesn't sound like they do."

The redhead had never been one for poetics, but it didn't feel right to leave it there. "I do," she admitted. "I make a pretty fucked up friend, but… I don't see you causin' any problems for me."

Veronica was quiet for another moment, long enough that Cass nearly started to ask if she'd fallen asleep. The scribe exhaled slowly, then managed to speak. "Thanks, Cass." There was a wobble to her voice, but she didn't sound angry. "Goodnight."

"Night, Ronnie."

Cass laid there for a long time, thinking about what Veronica had told her. She wasn't sure which of them fell asleep first, but she knew the faint warmth of Veronica nearby was more soothing than any nightcap.


	3. Chapter 3

Six woke them early, wanting to start out before the desert got too hot. He knocked on the door and promised he'd have breakfast bought and waiting for them at the tent that served as the town's cafeteria, then left.

Veronica rolled over with a groan, burying her face in Cass' shoulder. A few seconds later, she realized what she'd done and pulled away, sitting up and stretching like nothing had happened.

Cass shifted toward Veronica slightly, craving the warmth of the other woman. It took her a few minutes to wake up, and she only opened her eyes when Veronica smacked her with a pillow.

"What the hell?" Cass grumbled, pushing the offending pillow away and peering up at the scribe. Part of her wanted to be cranky, but the ornery grin on Veronica's face made it difficult to be mad. "That's a shitty wake up call."

"Some of us don't want to miss breakfast," Veronica replied, heading for the bathroom.

Cass considered that, then pushed herself up with a groan. She stretched and cracked her stiff joints, managing to get out of the bed before Veronica returned. The redhead was pulling on her pants when Veronica walked out of the bathroom, and she caught the flicker of embarrassment in Veronica's eyes. "Aw c'mon, Ronnie. Ain't nothing you haven't seen before," she teased as she buckled her belt.

"I thought you'd still be in bed," Veronica retorted, busying herself with putting her pajamas away.

Cass grinned, but as silence settled over the motel room again, she swallowed uncertainly. "Veronica? We okay?" A foreign rush of anxiety settled over Cass the second the words left her mouth, but she pushed it away and focused on the brunette.

Veronica glanced over and studied her quietly, then smiled. "Yeah, Rosie, we're good."

Cass relaxed and shot the scribe a crooked grin, and the pair grabbed their gear and headed out of the room.

They were surprised to find that Six had picked up an old friend from his days as an NCR soldier. The friend was a stony-faced man who didn't say much, even when Six introduced him. Boone just nodded a greeting at the women, quietly eating his breakfast and nudging his sunglasses up his nose.

Six seemed pleased to see Veronica and Cass talking again, and he laid out the travel plan as they all ate their Instamash. He and Cass pooled their caps and paid for the food, and then the group left Novac, heading south.

The walk from Novac was much more pleasant, and Cass found herself relishing the mere sound of Veronica's voice. The scribe was witty and full of stories, though as they passed through the charred remains of Nipton, Veronica became quiet once again.

Cass saw the muted horror on Veronica's face, watching the way the scribe avoided looking at the crucified corpses. The redhead sidled over toward Veronica, bumping the scribe's shoulder lightly with her own. She gave her hooded companion a reassuring grin, then pulled out a bottle of whiskey. Cass offered it to Veronica, who made a face and refused. "We ain't gonna let these fuckwits win, Ronnie," Cass promised quietly before taking a drink.

Veronica nodded, glancing at the blackened town hall. She sighed and dropped her gaze to the dirt in front of her, and remained quiet until the group was a few hundred yards out of Nipton's ruins.

Cass looked up at the mountains in front of them, immediately picking out the ridiculous NCR statue at the Mojave Outpost. She rolled her eyes and took another drink.

Six pointed out the statue a few minutes later, joking that the end of the journey was in sight. The comment was encouraging, and the group began across the dry lake bed toward the outpost.

A few large ants came scuttling up, but they were easily dispatched with Cass' shotgun and Boone's sniper rifle. Veronica breathed a sigh of relief and kept her distance from the corpses, thanking the rest of the group for getting rid of the insects.

They paused at the bridge below the outpost, taking a few minutes to rest before beginning up the steep incline. Rest didn't seem to be in the cards, however; not more than a minute after the group had settled down, a squad of Legion assassins appeared and ran at them, screaming battle cries.

Six swore and picked up his assault rifle, while Boone and Cass readied their weapons. Veronica met the nearest one with her power fist in his face, and the battle exploded around them.

Cass counted seven assassins as she blasted her shotgun at the crimson-clad soldier running toward her. Her attack dropped the Legion man like a rock, and the man behind him tripped over the body.

He scrambled to get to his feet, but Cass was quicker. "Do me a favor," Cass snarled as she grabbed the Legion soldier by the hair and forced him to stay on his knees. "Grab fuckin' Caesar's dick and drag him to hell with you!" She jammed her shotgun against his chest and squeezed the trigger.

Six was swinging a machete he'd scooped up off the ground, and he nearly decapitated the soldier attacking him. Boone was lining up careful shots through his sniper rifle, his bullets causing massive damage to their targets.

Cass grinned, pleased by how well the fight was going. She liked rubbing Caesar's cowardly attempts to murder Six right back in the man's face.

A Latin battle cry behind her caught the redhead's attention and she ducked, wheeling around to defend herself. Instead, she saw Veronica being backed against the side of the bridge by an assassin. Cass scowled and started toward the man.

In the next second, the Legion soldier kicked Veronica's feet out from under her. The brunette fell toward the low bridge wall, catching herself on her elbow, her power fist hanging over the edge. Before she could get to her feet, the assassin lifted his sledgehammer high into the air and brought it down on Veronica's power fist.

The scribe's arm snapped, and Veronica let out a scream that made Cass' heart stop. Veronica crumpled against the wall, and the assassin raised his weapon for a final strike.

"You fuckhead!" Cass yelled. Before she could do anything, the familiar ring of Boone's sniper rifle reached her ears. The assassin collapsed, a bullet hole in the side of his head.

Boone's quick action left Cass stunned, and she felt oddly powerless as the sniper ran over and crouched near Veronica.

The scribe was curled up around her arm protectively, her face twisted with pain. She shook her head and cringed away when Boone tried to touch her arm, tears streaking down her cheeks.

"Don't fucking hurt her," Cass snarled, moving toward the brunette on shaky legs.

"Go get help," Boone replied evenly, trying to silently coax Veronica to present her arm so he could assess the damage.

The agony on Veronica's face tugged at emotions Cass didn't even know she had, and the cowgirl hovered over Veronica uneasily. "And leave her? Are you outta your goddamn mind?"

"Cassidy." Boone's voice dropped dangerously. "Go. Now."

The redhead swallowed and looked at Veronica. All it took was one glance at the scribe's tear-stained face and Cass backed down. "Fuck, fine, I'm goin'! Don't hurt her or I'll turn your damn beret into a deathclaw chew toy." Cass gave Veronica one last look, then turned and started running for the outpost.

The hill was brutal, and Cass was wheezing before she even made it halfway. The huge statue loomed over her, taunting her, and Cass glared at it as she dragged herself up the hill. Every time she thought her legs were about to give out, she remembered the pain on Veronica's face and kept pushing herself further.

Cass reached the desolate camp and managed a single yell for help before she doubled over to catch her breath. Her heart was pounding in her chest and Cass hoped it wouldn't give out on her just yet.

An officer saw her and jogged over to meet her, looking concerned. "Been a while, Miss Cassidy. Everything okay?"

She shook her head and straightened up, motioning down the hill. "Got jumped by a group of coward-ass Legion boys. My friend's hurt," she panted, rubbing at a stitch in her side.

The officer nodded, paling at the mention of the Legion so close by, but turned and started barking orders. It only took a few minutes for him to gather a rudimentary medical team in the compound, but Cass decided that was a few minutes too long.

"The hell took you so long?" she griped, waving for the men to follow her.

She led the medics down the hill as fast as they could all go without falling, and was surprised to meet Six, Boone, and Veronica slowly making their way up the slope. Veronica looked like she was still in extreme pain, and as soon as Six realized help was coming, he helped Veronica sit on the hood of an old car.

Before Cass could do anything, the medics ran to Veronica and started trying to remove her power fist and assess the damage. The scribe let out a gut-wrenching whimper, crying out when the weapon was pulled off of her arm. Cass' stomach lurched at the sound and she looked around for something, anything, that she could do to help.

The medics began rolling Veronica's sleeves up, and as soon as a syringe glittered in the sun, Cass reacted.

"Hold the fuck up!" she cried, stepping toward the medics. A few of them paused and gave her fearful looks, but before she could say anything else, Six stepped in front of her.

"Cass, shut up!" Six growled, getting up in the cowgirl's face. "You're the one with the heart problem, not Veronica! She'll be fine, just let her have the goddamn pain meds!"

Cass snarled, but the courier cut her off before she could speak.

"She's my friend, Cass, and I'm not gonna let her sit there in pain! Are you?" Six gave her a hard look and turned away, walking back to the medics and helping them however he could.

The redhead wanted to argue, but she paused when the courier's words rang in her ears. She looked over at Veronica, watching as the medics injected something into her arm. Cass tensed, waiting for the scribe to keel over, but as the minutes passed, Veronica remained upright and alive. The relief that flickered across the brunette's face sucked all the fight out of Cass, and she watched helplessly as stimpaks and Med-X were administered.

As soon as Veronica was mostly numb to her pain, Six and the medics eased her onto her feet and began guiding her up the slope to the outpost. Cass followed along behind them, hating herself for not realizing that the medicine would help Veronica.

When they reached the NCR camp, Veronica was whisked away to a makeshift doctor's office, with Six following along to keep an eye on her. Boone had disappeared onto the sniper's roof the minute Veronica was safely inside, helping guard the camp.

Cass stood alone in the middle of the compound, feeling utterly helpless as dust swirled around her boots. There was something about the Mojave Outpost that made Cass feel trapped. The fact that she was worried about Veronica wasn't helping at all, and the redhead let her feet lead her to the bar.

The bartender recognized her immediately and grabbed a bottle of whiskey, handing it to Cass without a word. Cass nodded her thanks and dropped onto the nearest barstool, draining half the bottle in her first gulp.

She gave the walls of the bar a dark glance, idly wondering how she always ended up here when everything went to hell. First she'd lost her caravan, and now…

Cass snorted. She knew better than to think Veronica was going to die, but the brunette's scream of anguish was still echoing in her ears. Cass hated herself for not being able to help; Boone had stolen her opportunity for revenge against the Legion assassin, then sent her off like an errand boy. To top it all off, Cass had let her own feelings about drugs get in the way, and it chilled her to think that she had been fighting against easing Veronica's pain. Some friend she was turning out to be.

Cass did her best to drown in the whiskey, throwing back drink after drink until her throat was on fire and her brain was fuzzy. No matter how much she drank, there was no relief from her whirling thoughts. She couldn't erase the guilt from her mind, and Cass had nearly convinced herself that it was all her fault. The image of Veronica's arm being broken flashed in front of her again, and Cass' stomach rolled. She muttered something she didn't even understand at the bartender, then got to her feet and staggered for the door.

The evening air was blessedly cool on her face, but it did nothing to help Cass' rebelling stomach. She made it over to the corner of the fenced in courtyard before doubling over and vomiting. Her shoulders heaved violently, over and over, so much that Cass wished Boone would take her out with a mercy shot.

When her stomach had finally emptied itself, Cass leaned against the fence and wiped her mouth on her sleeve shakily. Her head was pounding and she tried to breathe normally, only becoming aware of the tear tracks down her cheeks a few moments later.

Cass swore and dried them with her other sleeve, then sank down to the ground and sat against the fence. The outpost was spinning around her and Cass vaguely wondered how long it had been since she'd puked her guts up from drinking too much.

"Get up," a voice growled.

Cass opened her eyes and looked over, somewhat surprised to see Boone standing over her. "Fuck off, soldier boy."

Boone said nothing for a moment, staring down at her. "Get up," he said again. "You need to go clean up."

"Don't fuckin' order me around, Boone," Cass retorted, slurring. "You stole my goddamn kill, 'n wouldn't let me stay'n help."

Boone's jaw tensed. "Drinking doesn't stop the pain."

"I'm older'n you, I can do whatever the fuck I want." Cass crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. "'Sides, it helps."

"You're not helping anyone like this, Cassidy." Boone's voice was infuriatingly calm, sounding almost too high and mighty for Cass to bear.

The redhead growled at him, pushing herself to her feet and leaning against the fence heavily. "Y'ain't helpin' either, so back the fuck off!"

Boone opened his mouth to respond, but paused when footsteps came up behind him.

"It's okay, Boone," Veronica said quietly, catching his arm and giving him a gentle push toward the barracks. "I've got her."

Boone nodded once and turned, returning to his spot on the roof.

Cass stared at Veronica hazily, then closed her eyes, ashamed of herself.

The scribe didn't say anything as she reached out and took Cass by the elbow. Her touch was patient, yet forceful, and Cass didn't fight her.

The redhead found herself inside the barracks a few minutes later, presented with a change of clothes and being guided toward the showers.

"I'll be right outside if you need anything," Veronica promised, leaving Cass alone in the barracks' bathroom.

Cass fumbled to strip herself, tossing her clothes out of the way and turning on the water. It was lukewarm at best, with little pressure behind it, but Cass still scrubbed away the smell of alcohol and vomit as best she could.

Her head was spinning when she turned the water off, and Cass rested her head against the wall and tried to breathe. After a long moment, she grabbed blindly for the standard issue towels along the wall, drying off and getting dressed.

Veronica was just outside the door, true to her word, and she led Cass over to a cot in the corner. "Hold this," she murmured, pushing a bottle of water into Cass' hands as soon as the redhead had laid down. Veronica twisted the cap off with her left hand and instructed her to drink it, sinking onto the edge of the cot beside the redhead.

Cass tried her best to ignore her protesting stomach and managed to swallow a few gulps. She sank back against the pillow and grunted, then opened her eyes and focused on Veronica as best she could.

The scribe offered her a weary smile, though her eyes remained concerned. "I think you drank the bar dry."

Cass didn't answer that, looking at the bulky plaster cast around Veronica's forearm. She felt sick again and looked away. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Veronica gave Cass' shoulder a squeeze. "It's not your fault." She paused. "Wait… Is that why you got so drunk?"

Cass shrugged, rolling over and away from the brunette. "Shoulda protected you better."

"You did everything you could," Veronica countered gently. "It's okay, Cass, I promise. Give me a few weeks and I'll be punching things like normal."

The cowgirl scoffed inwardly, but chose to say no more; her head was still spinning and it was hard to think. She felt Veronica rubbing slow circles on her back, and Cass closed her eyes and let the sensation lull her to sleep.

=====:=====

Cass woke to a splitting headache, and it took everything in her not to groan. She rolled over and buried her face in the pillow until she couldn't breathe, then swore under her breath and turned onto her side. The cowgirl forced her eyes open, hissing at the sunlight streaming in through the dusty window.

Once her eyes had focused, Cass saw Veronica curled up on a nearby cot, still sound asleep. The redhead studied her for a few minutes, trying to figure out what had happened the night before. She vaguely remembered throwing up and Veronica taking care of her, and guilt and shame washed over her once again.

The cowgirl got to her feet and staggered out of the sleeping area. She got a bottle of water from the bar and headed out into the compound. The sunrise made her eyes burn, and Cass found the most shaded spot she could, sinking to the ground against an old bus. She could tolerate the sunrise, so long as she had the freedom to groan or swear when she felt like it. Cass exhaled slowly and closed her eyes, willing her massive hangover away.

Boots thudded in front of her an hour later, pausing there. Cass' headache was no better, and she scowled before opening one eye. Six was standing over her, and Cass stared up at him impatiently. "… What?"

"I'm tempted to shout this whole conversation," Six admitted with a wry grin. He lifted his hands in surrender when Cass glared at him, settling himself in the dirt beside her. "I hear you went and got shitfaced last night. More than usual, I mean."

"So?" Cass sipped at the water bottle, making a face at the warmth of the liquid.

The courier shrugged and played with a bottle cap idly. "Just wondered if you had a good reason."

Cass shot him as incredulous a look as she could manage, but Six paid it no mind.

"You know she laid into Boone last night?" the courier murmured, glancing over at the tall statue. "Once you were asleep, anyway."

The cowgirl paused and shifted uncertainly, trying not to jostle her head. "No kiddin'."

Six nodded. "Apparently he has no bedside manner, though that's not really surprising." He chuckled, looking pleased to get a snort out of Cass. "Y'know, I'm amazed she puts up with you when you're drunk. She can't stand the smell of alcohol, and you're not the nicest drunk I've ever met." He grinned at her. "No offense."

Cass hesitated, never having considered why Veronica ever helped her. She'd been vaguely aware of the scribe's dislike of drinking, but Cass had filed it away and not thought much of it. Now that Six had brought it up, it made something inside Cass feel strange.

"Need me to bring you anything?" Six asked, breaking the redhead out of her thoughts. "Breakfast, maybe?"

The cowgirl's stomach twisted unpleasantly at the thought of food and she shook her head.

Six nodded and gave the cowgirl's shoulder a squeeze before getting to his feet. He grinned to himself, then looked down at Cass. "SEE YOU AROUND, CASS!" he shouted, jogging away.

"God fucking damnit Six!" Cass yelled, sending a string of colorful curses back at the courier, the noise sending waves of pain through her skull. Her own yelling did nothing to ease the pain, and she flipped Six off blindly as he cackled across the compound.

Cass' hangover was at a manageable level by the time Veronica was awake, and she was able to greet the scribe with an uncertain smile when Veronica wandered out into the compound and found her. "Mornin'. Uh… how's your arm?"

The scribe glanced at her cast and wrinkled her nose. "Sore, I guess." She focused on Cass a moment later, biting her lip uncertainly. "How's your head?"

The cowgirl shrugged, shifting uneasily. "Look, Ronnie, I… I'm sorry 'bout last night. And all the other times."

The protest that had been on Veronica's lips died at Cass' words, and the brunette's eyebrows knit in confusion.

"You're always takin' care of me when I'm drunk off my ass," Cass clarified quickly. "I know y'don't—"

"You're my friend, Cass. I'm not going to just let you pass out in your own puke," Veronica countered.

"What kinda friend lets you get your arm broke?" Cass regretted the words the moment they left her mouth, and she cringed away from what was sure to be a snarky response.

Veronica only sighed. "Cass, I don't blame you. It could have been a lot worse, y'know? But it wasn't your fault, so quit blaming yourself." When she saw the reluctance on the redhead's face, Veronica rolled her eyes and cracked a grin. "I've still got one good arm, so I can still punch you. At least pretend to accept it so I don't have to bop you in the nose."

Cass laughed at that, offering her friend a smile. "Yes'm."

Veronica grinned at the sound of the redhead's raspy chuckle, and she offered Cass her uninjured arm. "Have you had lunch yet?"

The worst of the cowgirl's hangover was past, so she shook her head and allowed herself to be led to the mess hall.

By the time evening rolled around, Cass had completely recovered and had another bottle of whiskey in her hand. She kept an eye on her intake, though; she didn't want another hangover that bad, almost as much as she didn't want to burden Veronica.


	4. Chapter 4

Six had finished his business by the next morning, and once he cleared Veronica with the outpost's medic, the group set out for Novac once again.

Cass stayed close to the scribe, her hand never leaving her shotgun. She wasn't about to let anything else hurt Veronica. The shy smile Veronica directed at her helped ease Cass' mind, but she still kept an eye out for danger.

Boone returned to guard duty when they stopped in Novac for the night, and Cass thumbed her nose at his departing back. Veronica stifled a grin and shook her head at Cass, and Six disappeared to rent some rooms.

The courier only had enough caps for one room that night and the three of them crammed into the motel room wearily. Cass immediately volunteered to sleep on the floor, silencing Six's protests with a raised eyebrow.

Veronica looked exhausted, but still found the energy to argue. "You guys don't have to—"

"Like hell we don't," Cass retorted. "We're your friends, Ronnie. Means we're required t'be nice to ya."

Veronica looked between the courier and the cowgirl for a moment, finally allowing a tired smile to cross her face. "Geez, okay, fine. Twist my arm, why don't you." She realized what she'd said a moment later and started giggling as she headed for the bathroom.

As soon as everyone had washed up, the trio went to bed, worn out from their travels. Cass stretched out on a bed roll on the floor, staring up into the dark. She'd run out of whiskey near the NCR radio station south of Novac, so she couldn't use a drink to lull herself to sleep. Listening to Veronica and Six sleep was more irritating than soothing, so Cass finally got up and let herself out of the motel room quietly.

She leaned against the railing and stared out at the dark Mojave night. Stars were twinkling above her head, and Cass found herself humming a song from the radio. The night air was cool and pleasant on her skin, and Cass relaxed.

"I know how it feels," a voice murmured from beside her.

Cass jolted and whipped around to glare at the intruder, relaxing slightly when she saw Boone. "The fuck, soldier boy?"

Boone didn't respond for a moment, his face impassive. "To have control ripped away from you," he explained. "But if I hadn't taken the shot…"

Cass cocked her head at the man, halfway sure she could hear masked emotion in his voice.

Boone shook his head slightly. "I know how it feels," he said again, leaning against the railing with her.

Cass eyed the rifle on the man's back, then sighed and looked out across the motel's yard. She knew it was as close to an apology as she'd get from the sniper, but he'd piqued her curiosity. "How?" she asked after a moment.

Boone's jaw tensed for a few seconds, but then he exhaled slowly. "I just do." The sniper didn't say anything else, standing there with her silently.

Cass was about to pester him again when he pulled a bottle of whiskey out of his pocket and handed it to her. She took it warily, raising an eyebrow at the man.

"You look at her like I used to look at Carla," he admitted, his voice cryptic. Boone tipped his head in a respectful bow and slipped away, returning to his post.

The cowgirl watched him walk across the yard and into the dinosaur, her mind buzzing with curiosity. She uncorked the whiskey and sipped at it for a while, finally returning to the motel room and going to sleep.

=====:=====

When they returned to the Lucky 38, Arcade greeted them with a broad grin, teasing them about being much better company than plants. His medical side took over when he spotted Veronica's arm, and he began quizzing her about what had happened.

Six and Cass retired to the kitchen, sharing a few drinks and playing some poker to unwind. They let a few hands pass in relative silence, the score staying mostly even, and finally Six looked up at Cass over his cards.

"I've got plans to go to see the Boomers," he admitted.

Cass scoffed. "Takin' bets on how many pieces you'll come home in?"

Six grinned, though a touch of anxiety was visible in his eyes. "Hopefully one. No, I… I just think they'd be good to have on my side, you know? For whenever Caesar decides to attack the dam."

Cass drew a few cards and pulled a face, then nodded. "Fair point." She was well aware of what the courier was trying to ask and let him sweat for a few minutes. "So when're we leavin'?"

Six shot her a grateful look. "I was hoping after Veronica's arm healed, but with the Legion getting us at the outpost, I'm thinking it'd better be sooner. Day after tomorrow, maybe?"

Cass shrugged. "Fine by me. Raise you fifteen."

Six met her bet and raised it, laughing when Cass folded. "Pair of threes," he teased, showing her his hand.

"Jesus Christ, Six! Really?" The cowgirl grinned in spite of her loss, sliding him her cards and leaning back in her seat. "Think I might head over to Gomorrah. Wanna join me?"

The courier considered it as he shuffled, settling on a shrug. "I might drop by later. Dunno yet."

"I'll be around there somewhere," the redhead drawled. "Wouldn't mind havin' a drinking buddy." Cass loosened the messy bun her hair was tied in, letting her hair fall around her shoulders. She scratched at her scalp and groaned at the pleasant sensation, then tied her hair back up again. The cowgirl offered Six another grin and got to her feet.

She found Arcade and Veronica out in the common room, the former trying to convince Veronica that Julie Farkas would be her best option for removing the cast. Veronica agreed, though she seemed relieved to see Cass.

"Going somewhere?" she asked the redhead playfully.

Cass dropped her hand on her head and nodded. "Gomorrah. Feel like unwindin' a little after our trip. Either'a you wanna join me?"

Arcade politely declined, even when Cass teased him about the male strippers in Brimstone, and he left to talk to Six with a blush turning his ears pink.

"I don't think partying and a broken arm go well together," Veronica said, a grin growing on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes. "But go ahead and have fun."

"That's the plan, Ronnie," Cass replied, offering the brunette a smile.

The scribe studied Cass for a moment, then sighed and stepped closer to straighten Cass' collar. Her eyes lingered on the pendant hanging over the redhead's collarbone, and she bit her lip. "Be careful, Rosie," she murmured, meeting the cowgirl's gaze again.

Cass was momentarily distracted by the depth of Veronica's eyes, vaguely wondering how such a warm shade of brown could exist. She managed to scoff, adjusting her hat and grinning at the brunette. "Always am."

Veronica didn't answer, pulling her hand away from the redhead's collar. She looked like she had something else to say, but Veronica remained silent.

Cass realized she was lingering there and backed away, tipping her hat at the brunette. The cowgirl slipped into the elevator and squashed the flicker of embarrassment that had risen in her chest.

The cowgirl found herself bellied up to the bar in Gomorrah, idly watching a strip tease on the stage as she sipped at her drink. The warm buzz of the alcohol had settled over her, and Cass allowed a lazy grin to grow on her face. She was more relaxed than she had been in weeks, though watching the hookers gyrate on the stage had started an ache between her legs that she wanted to satisfy. It'd been too long since she'd gotten laid.

When the bartender walked over to refill her drink, Cass asked if any of the girls were free for the night. After her failure to protect Veronica, Cass liked the idea of taking care of a woman, and she didn't particularly feel like spreading her legs for a man tonight.

The bartender grinned and nodded, going off to fetch a woman for Cass. He returned a few minutes later, a pretty brunette in tow.

The woman sidled up to Cass, looping her arms around the redhead's neck and murmuring about all the things she had planned for the cowgirl. Cass shuddered appreciatively and paid her tab, then got to her feet and let the woman lead her away.

Stepping out into the courtyard, Cass was met with cool night air. The sensation cleared her thoughts a little, and the woman taunted her with the idea of a kiss before leading her across the open area.

Cass studied the woman that had hold of her hand as they walked, thoroughly enjoying the sultry swing of her hips. The woman's skin was pale, a sharp contrast to her dark hair, and Cass found herself wondering if it was her natural hair color. Veronica's overall complexion was somewhat darker, and Cass couldn't deny that the scribe was attractive.

She let her thoughts wander to the scribe, her brain sticking on the sad smile Veronica had offered her before the elevator doors closed. Cass shook herself, trying to ward off the images of the scribe.

The woman paused to open her door, then turned to Cass and wound her arms around the redhead's neck. There was a seductive smile on her face, and she leaned in close, her breath tickling Cass' lips.

The cowgirl wanted to close her eyes and let her senses be overwhelmed by the woman in front of her, but when she blinked, all she could see was Veronica. The thought of sleeping with the prostitute didn't appeal to Cass anymore; she already felt guilty for even considering it.

The woman began trailing kisses down Cass' neck, her hands roaming over the soft leather of the redhead's jacket.

Cass swallowed and did her best to ignore her body's reaction, pulling herself out of the woman's embrace. "Hold up." She didn't want this anymore, and being out of the woman's arms was relieving. "Changed my mind." She brushed herself off and avoided the woman's gaze, backing out of the doorway. "Uh… have a nice night."

Before the woman could say anything, Cass turned and walked away, wobbling slightly as she made her way back through Gomorrah and out onto the Strip. She jammed her hands in her pockets and aimed herself toward the Lucky 38, trying not to think.

The whole encounter had sobered her up slightly, though her balance was still off. Cass berated herself for giving up the chance to get laid, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized she wouldn't have been able to enjoy it. The redhead wasn't altogether sure why that was, but she decided she'd puzzle over that in the morning.

The elevator ride up to the Presidential Suite seemed to take ages, and Cass had succeeded in thoroughly confusing herself by the time the doors slid open. She could hear Six and Arcade talking in the dining room, but she wasn't hungry and tottered off to the bedroom.

Veronica was sitting at the table, bits of tech spread out in front of her. She glanced up from the mess of parts when Cass walked in, looking surprised. "You're back early."

Cass grunted and shrugged out of her jacket, heading for her bed. She collapsed onto it, curling her arm around her pillow and sighing. "Yep," she drawled finally.

"Did you have fun?" Veronica ventured.

Cass could feel the scribe's gaze on her and wished she could burrow into her bed and disappear. "No."

"Oh." Veronica was quiet for a minute, fiddling with some of the parts scattered before her. "I'm sorry." She didn't say anything else, going back to working with her tech.

Cass laid there for a while, trying not to think about the guilt that was still gnawing at her. After a few minutes, she rolled over and watched the scribe work.

Veronica was struggling to hold a large piece and plug in her scavenged sensor module at the same time, but the cast around her right arm meant she had to try and do it all one handed. There was a frown on the brunette's face as she tried to fit the pieces together, her concentration visible in the tension of her shoulders.

Cass studied the brunette for a few moments, marveling at how brilliant Veronica was. The woman not only loved to study history and science, she was a technological wizard. Cass had always loved to watch the scribe tinker with something, just to see the brunette's brain work.

Veronica's hand slipped and she nearly broke a piece. She grumbled and set it aside, frustration becoming evident in her posture as she ran her hand through her hair.

The redhead knew she wasn't much for Pre-war tech, but she had two working hands that could probably help. She rolled over and got up, starting toward the table. Somewhere along the way, her feet got tangled, and Cass tripped and fell hard, hitting the floor with a squawk of pain.

"Cass!"

The cowgirl rubbed at her shoulder with a wince, opening her eyes to see Veronica leaning over her uneasily.

"Are you okay?" the scribe asked, worry lacing her voice.

Cass nodded, struggling to sit up. "Just fell down. Thought I'd come try'n help," she explained, waving at the table.

Veronica reached out to steady her, a grin forming at the corner of her mouth. "You know you're all thumbs with anything other than a knife," she reminded the cowgirl, teasing. "And I've only got five fingers right now, and I want to keep them."

Cass rolled her eyes, pretending the motion hadn't made her dizzy. "Cute, Ronnie."

Veronica smiled, giving Cass' arm an affectionate squeeze.

The redhead tried to return the smile, but hesitated when she looked at Veronica. The warmth and care in the brunette's eyes was almost suffocating, and Cass swallowed, taking in the sight of her friend. "Goddamn, Veronica," she mumbled reverently. "You're so fuckin' beautiful."

The scribe's cheeks turned pink and she glanced away bashfully. Her eyes flicked back to meet the cowgirl's a second later, swirling with hope and something else Cass couldn't quite identify.

Discerning the emotions in Veronica's eyes didn't matter so much as Cass realized how much she wanted to kiss the scribe. Not wanting the woman at Gomorrah suddenly made sense, and the redhead reached forward and hooked her fingers in Veronica's collar. She gave the scribe a gentle tug, smiling crookedly when Veronica moved closer.

Veronica's eyes darted to the cowgirl's lips, and her eyelids nearly dropped closed with anticipation as Cass leaned toward her. She seemed to realize what was happening a moment before they kissed and pushed Cass away. "No."

Cass' heart dropped and she gawked at the scribe. She felt like she'd been kicked, and something deep inside her ached at the word echoing between them.

"Not like this," Veronica continued, backing away from the redhead. "Not when you're so drunk that I won't be able to tell if it's real."

"But—"

"No, Cass. I can't." Veronica's voice caught and she got to her feet. Her eyes were shining with tears, and she stared down at the cowgirl for a moment before she fled.

Cass sat there on the floor for a long time, miserable at the absence of the other woman. It took ages for her to crawl back into her bed, and Cass was once again overwhelmed with guilt. It seemed that all she could do was hurt Veronica, and Cass hated herself for it.

She laid awake for a long time, but Veronica still hadn't returned by the time Cass fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Short chapter this time, because there wasn't any other place to break up the next one!

* * *

><p>Cass felt drained when she woke, and the fuzzy taste in her mouth made her cringe. It took the redhead a minute to get her bearings, but when she noticed Veronica's bed hadn't been slept in, everything came flooding back. Cass cursed herself for the almost-kiss, the memory of tears in Veronica's eyes hurting more than any bullet wound ever had.<p>

She dragged herself out of bed and went to the bathroom, putting on a hot shower. The water nearly burned her skin, but it did nothing to wash away Cass' whirling thoughts.

Her urge to kiss the scribe wasn't completely unexpected; Cass had always had a thing for brunettes. What surprised Cass the most was how much it had hurt to be rejected. Cass had dealt with wounded pride before, and whatever she was feeling now ran far deeper than that.

The cowgirl ached to apologize, though she wasn't terribly sorry for wanting to kiss Veronica. She was almost certain the scribe had wanted it too, and it made Veronica's refusal all the more painful.

She wanted the scribe, Cass realized as she got out of the shower. Not just for sex, either, though Cass imagined that would be great too. The feelings she realized she'd been harboring were more than just lust.

Her mind flicked back to a dusty cabin in the Boneyard years before, where she'd lived with a former Blades gangster. She'd loved him, but when he disappeared, Cass had convinced herself it was a teenage crush gone awry. There'd been others after him, including a blonde bartender in New Reno, and a tough NCR soldier that had marched off into battle and gotten herself blown to pieces.

After all that, Cass had refused to let anyone get close to her, and it had been so long that the cowgirl had to wonder if she was even capable of caring about someone anymore. She dried her hair off and got dressed, still puzzling over her own feelings when she walked out of the bathroom.

Cass wandered into the kitchen and helped herself to some breakfast, sitting down with Six and Arcade. Listening to the men talk helped distract the cowgirl, and she put thoughts of romance out of her mind.

The trio had nearly finished eating when the elevator doors dinged and slid open. They all paused, and after a moment, Veronica stepped into the dining room.

The scribe looked up at the people around the table, her shoulders sagging when her gaze landed on Cass. Veronica's eyes were red and she looked like she hadn't slept. The brunette swallowed, but she slunk over and sat at the table anyway.

"Good morning, Veronica," Arcade offered quietly. "Did you, uh, have a nice night out?"

Veronica shrugged, staring down at the table. She tried to speak, but her voice broke and she swallowed hard. After a moment of warring with herself, she just shrugged again.

The men exchanged a glance, but they pretended that everything was fine for her sake. Six offered her breakfast while Arcade just reached over and gave her shoulder a squeeze.

Cass couldn't take the sight and got up abruptly, walking out of the room. She'd managed to fuck it all up again, and now Veronica was upset because of her. Guilt, worry, and self-loathing overwhelmed her, and Cass didn't know which one to feel first. She settled on anger, and stormed into the bedroom, gathering her things.

Six intercepted her as she headed for the elevator, catching her arm before she could go past him. "Hold up, Cass. You wanna tell me what's going on?"

"I fucked up," Cass snarled. "Lemme go."

"So you're running away?" Six raised an eyebrow at Cass, well aware that he was challenging her.

The cowgirl bristled, but stuck to her guns. "No. I'm givin' her space. I'm the last fuckin' asshole she wants to see right now."

Six frowned and glanced toward the dining room.

"I'll be at the Wrangler whenever you wanna head out," Cass muttered, shouldering past the courier and escaping the casino before she could do any more damage.

=====:=====

Cass scowled down at the amber liquid in her glass, swirling it gently. She'd been staring at the same drink for hours, as if glaring at it would solve all her problems. The cowgirl had taken a seat in the corner of the Atomic Wrangler, and the other patrons had wisely kept their distance.

Every time Cass started to lift the glass, all she could think about was Veronica pushing her away. The scribe's rejection stung worse with every passing hour, and Cass knew that seeing Veronica's red-rimmed eyes hadn't helped at all.

She studied the drink sullenly, overwhelmed with anger. She was mad at herself for attempting to kiss Veronica, sure, but she was also mad at the swirling emotions in her head that she couldn't identify.

Cass blamed herself, but she surprised herself a moment later by blaming the drink. It was incredibly stupid, she realized, that a little drink could end up ruining so much. She'd hurt the woman she cared about and wrecked the first kiss Cass had really wanted in years before it could even happen.

The door opened just as Cass was about to throw her glass against the wall, but Cass refused to look up. She had a feeling someone was looking for her, and she didn't particularly feel like being found.

"Six thought you might have run away."

Cass scowled down at her drink. "Whaddya want, Gannon?"

Arcade sat down across from her and flashed her a smile. "I thought I'd take a nice evening stroll and enjoy your wonderful company," he sassed, chuckling when she glowered at him. "I see you're in a good mood."

Cass didn't answer him, studying the contents of her glass.

The blond sighed. "Fine, since you asked so nicely, I'll tell you. Julie wanted me to help out at the Fort for a few days, and I thought I'd head over early to help with the hangover rush tomorrow morning. Which, coincidentally, it doesn't look like you'll be part of," Arcade observed, cocking his head and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I don't think you've had a sip of that the whole time I've been in here. Are you—"

"Here, drink's on me," Cass muttered, shoving the glass to the doctor and getting to her feet. She grabbed her bag and headed up the stairs to the room she'd rented. Cass dropped her bag near the nightstand and threw herself on the bed.

She laid there and sulked for a while, swearing when her thoughts turned to Veronica once again. Cass glared up at the ceiling, wishing she was drunk so she wouldn't have to feel any of the emotions still running through her head. The cowgirl couldn't remember the last time she'd left a drink untouched, and the fact that she had concerned her.

Cass knew she had a bottle of something in her bag, but she hesitated before getting up to fetch it. The same thoughts that had been gnawing at her all day came back full force, and she rolled over with a grunt.

Every time she'd lifted the glass to her lips, all she could see was Veronica's heartbroken face. The brunette's words echoed through her mind, stinging just as much as they had the first time Cass had heard them. She cared about the scribe, more than she had cared about anyone in years. The redhead was almost certain Veronica returned her feelings, judging by the way she had almost let Cass kiss her.

Not when you're so drunk that I won't be able to tell if it's real. Cass scrubbed a hand over her face and sighed. She knew it was a valid point; the cowgirl had a habit of stretching the truth to get what she wanted, especially when she could blame it on alcohol. Veronica had known Cass was out to get laid, and it didn't take a genius to see why the scribe couldn't trust her.

She was so good at fucking up when it came to Veronica, and Cass hated herself for it. The cowgirl knew that wasn't the way to treat someone she loved. Cass paused at her own wording. Easy there, she cautioned herself. Don't get soft now.

Despite her own hesitance, Cass knew there was some truth to the thought. It scared her, realizing how important the scribe was to her. The idea that her drinking would keep her from expressing whatever it was she felt made something in Cass' gut ache. She didn't want to think about it, but the redhead had a feeling that if she was forced to choose between the two, she would pick Veronica over whiskey every time.

Cass had been drinking for almost as long as she could remember. When she used to run caravan routes, she'd often joked that whiskey was the only thing she could ever love. It was dependable and never let her down.

But neither had Veronica. The brunette had been there for her every single time Cass needed her. Veronica had been the one to physically haul her away from the Silver Rush while Six went in to collect evidence of the caravan war. The scribe had taken her to the Lucky 38's unused restaurant and let her smash plates and bottles until Cass had worn herself out, then listened to Cass' stories of her caravan days while the redhead drank until she couldn't feel anything.

Veronica had always had her back in a fight, and Cass had lost count of the number of times Veronica had saved her life. The scribe had been there every time Cass had gotten too drunk to function, taking care of her without being asked. Flashes of Veronica's teary face hovering over her when she'd woken from her heart attack appeared in Cass' brain, and she was dumbfounded to realize how much Veronica cared about her.

The brunette had always made Cass feel like she was worth something, and Cass had grown to care about her more deeply than she had felt about anyone in years. The cowgirl knew she'd do anything to keep Veronica in her life, even give up drinking.

Normally Cass would have laughed at the mere idea and written off her feelings in favor of the drink, but this felt different. She wanted to fix the mess she'd made, and to try her best to not hurt the scribe again. She wanted a chance to show Veronica that she could be more than a snarky drunk, and maybe make the scribe realize how much Cass cared about her. More than anything, Cass wanted Veronica to trust her and want her back.

Cass stared off into space for a long moment, scared of the decision looming in front of her. She couldn't face Veronica, not yet, but she could take the first step toward fixing everything.

The redhead rolled over and got to her feet, pawing through her bag. Her hands closed around the bottles and she pulled them out, studying the cool weight of them in her palms. This was not going to be easy. Even one drink could send her on an all-night binge, and Cass stared down at the bottles for a long time.

Finally, she trudged back down to the bar. Cass handed the bottles to the male Garrett twin without a word, ignored the astounded look she received, and walked back up the stairs. She fell into her bed and stared up at the ceiling, an uneasy sense of hope settling over her.

She'd just committed to quitting, and it scared her to think about life without whiskey. Veronica flashed into her mind, the heartbreak from the rejected kiss plain on her face. Cass swallowed past the lump that rose in her throat and closed her eyes.

Even if it was terrifying, Cass knew it would be worth it to see the hurt disappear from Veronica's eyes. She sighed and settled back against the pillow. You're already whipped, Cass chided herself, grinning slightly as she waited for sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

At first Cass thought the pounding noise was her headache, but as she woke up, she realized there was someone knocking on her door. She cringed and rolled over, throwing her arm over her eyes. "What?" she growled.

"Rise and shine, Cass," Six called. "I'll be downstairs whenever you're ready to head out."

Cass groaned and laid there out of pure stubbornness for a few minutes. She begrudgingly rolled over and dug in her bag, panic bursting in her brain when she couldn't find a liquor bottle. The decision from the previous night filtered into her thoughts and she took a moment to absorb it before burying her face in her pillow with a groan. Quitting was going to be harder than she'd thought.

As the redhead got up and prepared to leave, she fought off an irritating headache that felt suspiciously like a hangover. Cass knew she hadn't had a drink the night before, and it took her a moment to realize she was already starting to suffer withdrawals. The cowgirl scowled and shouldered her bag, then grabbed her shotgun and headed downstairs.

Six was at the bar, talking with the female Garrett twin, but when he saw Cass, he stood and smiled. "All set, partner?"

Cass grunted at him and dropped her hat on her head. "Fuck mornings."

Six chuckled and bid the woman behind the bar goodbye, and the duo left the Atomic Wrangler. They walked out of Freeside and into the wasteland in silence. The courier tried to start a conversation a few times, but most of his attempts fell flat when Cass gave him noncommittal shrugs in answer.

They'd just made it past the outskirts of Vegas and into the desert when Six glanced over at the redhead. "Veronica said to be careful," Six told her quietly.

The cowgirl grunted and tugged the brim of her hat over her eyes. She didn't particularly feel like being careful; in fact, she had half a mind to run at the next enemy she saw with nothing more than her knife. It'd get her blood moving, and hopefully distract her from her headache.

The courier glanced at her, then fell silent. He didn't say anything for a long time, and the pair trudged north quietly. After a few tumbleweeds bounced across their path, Six slowed. "Something doesn't sound right."

Cass glanced around the wasteland, trying to pick out anything dangerous, and her hand drifted to her shotgun.

The courier shook his head. "No, listen." He walked a few more steps, then motioned for Cass to follow him. After a moment, he brightened with realization. "I don't hear bottles bumping together."

Cass scoffed and continued along the old broken road.

Six jogged to catch up, still quiet but obviously thinking. "Wait, you don't have any alcohol with you, do you?" He looked momentarily stunned. "That explains… uh, do you wanna go back and see if we can get something to drink somewhere?"

"No."

The courier looked doubtful. "Cass, c'mon, it's not that big a detour."

"I fuckin' said no, Six!" the redhead snapped. "Jesus, let's just keep moving!"

Six shot her an annoyed look, but muttered an apology and went quiet.

They'd walked for another few minutes before Cass blew out a breath and glanced at the courier. "Tryin' to quit," she admitted, kicking at a rock.

Six made a noise of surprise, but he was smiling when the cowgirl risked another look at him. "Good for you."

The pair walked for a few hours, the sun hot above them. Six handed Cass a bottle of water, and the redhead drank from it greedily. It didn't burn like alcohol, and the taste made her cringe, but it was still pleasantly wet in the midday heat.

Six chuckled at the look on her face and drained the last of his water. "Wanna find somewhere to stop for a while?"

The cowgirl shrugged, then became aware of hunger gnawing at her. "Might be a good idea."

Six nodded and guided Cass toward an old abandoned shack. The door was partially rusted shut, but the courier wrenched it open and the pair walked into the old house. Both of them breathed a sigh of relief when they stepped out of the sun, and they dropped their bags and settled at the table.

Cass still had her headache, but it became more manageable as she ate. She sensed the courier looking at her and glanced up to meet his gaze.

The emotion in Six's eyes was somewhere between concerned and accusatory, and he studied her for a few moments.

The redhead faltered. "… What?"

"I don't suppose you feel like telling me why Veronica was moping around yesterday and cried herself to sleep?" The courier raised an eyebrow.

Cass cringed and cursed herself silently. She debated telling Six everything, but immediately nixed that idea. "I fucked up," she said again. "End of story."

"There's gotta be more to it than that," the courier protested.

"I don't wanna talk about it," Cass snapped, shooting the man a dangerous look.

Six's jaw tensed, but he just nodded once and stood. He muttered and excuse about a bathroom break and left the shack, leaving Cass in the musty cabin.

The redhead swore and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her headache was getting worse again; she couldn't deal with that and Six's questions at the same time. She certainly didn't need help feeling guilty. Cass had no idea how she'd ever make up for her behavior, or how Veronica could ever forgive her.

The cowgirl picked at the rest of her food, her appetite gone. She was grateful for the reprieve when Six poked his head back into the house and said they should keep moving. Cass grabbed her bag and her shotgun and headed back out into the wasteland, doing her best to ignore the heat.

They walked for another hour in relative silence, until Cass started feeling shaky. Six slowed down and offered to let her rest for a while, obviously concerned. The cowgirl waved away his worry, trying to ward off the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Not a minute later, she turned and threw up, her shoulders heaving over and over until she could barely breathe.

Six stepped upwind of her and asked if he could help, but he was left to watch as Cass struggled to recover. "Bad food?" he questioned.

Cass straightened up and shrugged, wiping her mouth gingerly. Her hands shook and she swore under her breath and hoped Six didn't see.

"Withdrawal," the man realized. "Are you sure you don't want to go back and find something to drink?"

The cowgirl growled. "You tryin' to say I'm gonna fuck this up and fail? 'Cause that sure ain't supportive."

Six stared at her for a moment, then rubbed at the back of his neck, ashamed. "No. Sorry." He seemed to have an excuse on the tip of his tongue, but Cass cut him off before he could voice it.

"Don't. Let's just go 'fore I blow chunks again," she muttered, giving the remains of her lunch a disdainful glance.

The courier reluctantly agreed and checked their position on his Pipboy. They continued walking, though at a slower pace, and the mountains finally rose up to meet them.

They'd barely made it halfway up the first hill when a black man ambled toward them. He gave the miserable redhead a wary look, then turned his attention to Six. "Hold on there, folks. Don't think you wanna head any closer; the Boomers live up this way."

Six smiled politely. "Good, then we're the headed the right direction."

The man blinked before a smile grew on his face. "You don't say. Well then I guess you know all about the firing range?" He started picking at his fingernails idly, looking bored. "And the secret to getting through it alive?"

Six and Cass exchanged a look, both already fed up with the man's tactics. The courier put another civil expression on his face while Cass swallowed annoyance.

"I guess I'm not familiar," the courier admitted. "Mind explaining?"

The black man gave the pair a smug smile. "I could. For a price."

Cass snarled and stepped forward, grabbing the man by his shirt and getting into his face. "Don't fuckin' play, not today." When he tried to break away, the redhead shook him roughly.

"Shit, I'm sorry!" the man cried, backpedaling fearfully. "The guns they use don't fire constantly. Wait for the bomb to blow, then run!" He looked to Six desperately. "Hide behind the ruined houses! That's all I know!"

Cass stared him down for another moment, then shoved him away. She tugged the brim of her hat lower, hoping she'd look more dangerous to distract from her shaking extremities.

Six cleared his throat and smiled. "Well, thank you very much, sir. We'll just get out of your way." He nodded at Cass and the pair walked around the man and continued north.

Behind them, the man was spluttering and confused.

Six laughed and clapped Cass on the shoulder. "That was awesome."

"Not puttin' up with any bullshit today," the cowgirl muttered, though she managed a grin.

They continued walking along in relative silence, pausing every so often while Cass' body protested the lack of alcohol in her system. Her stomach ached from throwing up and her head was spinning. Six pushed another bottle of water into her hands, and she sipped at it as they walked, doing her best to keep as much of it down as she could.

Her body wouldn't cooperate, and between the nausea and the worsening tremble in her hands, Cass felt awful. The shimmering heat and the repetitive crunch of sand under their boots didn't do anything to soothe her, and Cass finally grasped for conversation topics. Boone's confusing comment reappeared in her brain, and she looked over at Six. "Who's Carla?"

Six glanced over at Cass, confused. "Carla?"

The cowgirl kicked at a rock and nodded. "Boone said somethin' about a Carla, just wondered who she's supposed to be."

Six was quiet for a few minutes, his jaw tense. Finally he sighed and shot Cass a hard look. "I'm surprised he mentioned her. He, uh... God, he should be the one to tell you, but..." He sucked at his teeth. "Carla was Boone's wife."

The use of the past tense was jarring, and Cass swallowed hard.

"Craig was... Well, can you imagine him smiling?" Six shook his head at the memory and continued. "Being around her made him happy. You could just tell he loved her. Everyone in our unit gave him so much shit for it, but he never cared."

Cass let that sink in, pondering the comparison Boone had made that night at the motel. "What happened?"

"Legion slave raid." The courier spat the words out like they tasted foul. "They kidnapped Carla and a few others, and took them to a slave camp. Boone took off after 'em, but I guess he was too late, I don't know. When he got back, he was just… dead inside."

"Shit," the redhead murmured, shaking her head. "That's fucked up."

Six nodded and went quiet.

Dusk was falling when they reached the ruins of an old housing development. Off in the distance, they could see a few large buildings that were obviously part of the air force base.

Six murmured in relief and the pair stood at the crest of the hill for a few minutes. "Almost there," he said with a weary smile. "Thank god the sun's going down; I don't think I coulda gone much farther in the heat."

Cass shot him a dirty look, still woozy from her seemingly endless dry heaving. Six laughed and apologized, but the redhead gave him a shove for good measure.

"Well, this is the homestretch," Six said. "Let's get this over with."

The pair followed the road, lingering close to the ruins of Pre-war houses. Cass had all but forgotten about the black man's talk of firing ranges, and when the first distant boom sounded, she almost expected it to be thunder.

Six swore when a shell exploded nearby, and he grabbed Cass' arm and dove for cover behind one of the ruined houses. He pulled Cass close and shielded her as more explosions rocked the ground. "I was hoping it was too dark to see us!"

Cass wrestled out of the man's grip and pressed herself against the old wooden wall. The booming echoed in her skull, the heat of nearby explosions too close for comfort.

They waited there in the shadows for a few minutes, listening as the explosions died off and eerie silence settled over the valley once again.

Six peeked out at the cratered roadway, then gave Cass a wide eyed look. "Holy shit." He listened for a moment and exhaled slowly. "I think they stopped."

"Yeah, but if we fuckin' move, they'll blow us to bits," Cass hissed. Fear was suffocating her, cold and sharp, and she didn't dare raise her voice in case whoever was firing heard her. Between the terror and her headache, Cass was half ready to grab her shotgun and run at the people shooting at them and give them a taste of their own medicine.

"We've gotta get over there," Six groused, looking out across the valley again. "I guess that guy was right. It looks like we'll have cover if we run for it and hide."

Cass gave him an incredulous look. "You gotta be fucking kidding me."

Six grimaced. "If I don't, Caesar will." He got into a crouch and checked that he was still hidden behind the wall. "Ready?"

The redhead snarled but got her feet under her and mirrored Six's pose. "Of all the dumbass couriers I had to meet…"

Six laughed. "Love you too," he teased. "Let's go."

They scrambled out of their hiding place and toward the next building, shells exploding closer to them with every step they took. Cass flung herself toward the next ruined house, landing behind an old wardrobe. Six hit the dirt nearby with a grunt, swearing under his breath.

Cass' head was swimming and she grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it at the courier. "I hate you so much."

The pair hid there until the shelling stopped, then ran for it again. Cass felt ill when she hit the dirt, and did her best to crawl to cover without blacking out. Six reached for her and hauled her over to the wall, waiting for the next opportunity to run. "You okay, Cass?"

She flipped him off weakly, her stomach twisting. The redhead sat up and turned away, her back rolling as she heaved. Nothing else came up and she wheezed, aching and trembling. Six gripped her shoulder and rubbed at her back as the bombing died down, and Cass didn't have the energy to push him away.

"Stay put," Six decided, shifting to a crouch again.

Cass wanted to protest, but he shook his head.

"I'll go get them to stop, and then I'll come back and get you." Six made it sound simple and certain. "Stay hidden, okay?"

"I can make it," the redhead ground out, trying to get to her feet.

Six scoffed and shook his head. "Not like this, you can't. Besides, she'll kill me if I let you get blown to pieces."

Visions of Veronica's teary face flashed into Cass' mind, and she cringed at the thought of the scribe hearing about her death. She hated giving up, but went ahead and waved Six on. "Fine."

He gave her shoulder another squeeze and promised he'd return, then took off. Explosions started rocking the valley once again, and Cass crawled over to the ruined house and hid against the wall. Her ears were ringing and she felt weak and pathetic all over. Every few minutes, the booming noise stopped, only to start back up again. She could only assume Six was still alive, and the cowgirl stretched out on the dirt and closed her eyes.

More artillery rocked the desert, and Cass forced away fear and thought of Veronica. If she was going to die, she wanted her last thoughts to be of the brunette.

Another shell exploded too close for comfort, sending a cloud of dirt and dust over Cass. She swore and rolled over, becoming aware of pain in her knee. A glance down revealed a new hole in her jeans and a nasty gash across her knee. It seemed to be scabbing over already, so the redhead decided not to worry and hid in the shadows again.

It took her a few minutes to realize the valley had gone completely silent, and Cass closed her eyes and hoped Six was still in one piece. Her head felt light and she laid there and wished for a bottle of whiskey to make herself feel better.

An eternity later, footsteps came pounding up to her.

"Cass, you okay?" Six called, skidding to a halt and dropping to his knees beside her.

She grunted in response and sat up, grudgingly grateful for the steadying hand the courier offered her. After a moment, she got to her feet and Six grinned at her.

"C'mon, I've got an in with their leader." Six looked relieved and helped Cass pick her way through the ruins. He didn't say much during their walk to the fenced off base other than advising her not to make sudden moves or grab her shotgun without warning.

Boomer guards met them at the gate, and the pair was led into the base. After Six had a long talk with the Boomers' leader, he and Cass were led to two bunkhouses a fair distance from the rest of the buildings. They each took one, and Cass fell into the cot inside and fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

The days passed in a miserable blur. Cass didn't think she'd ever had a hangover that left her as miserable as she was, and being around the Boomers didn't make her feel any better. She didn't have the patience to be gawked at, and the cowgirl wandered out across the old tarmac and hid out in the midst of the buzzing solar panels.

Six found her after a few hours on their first morning at Nellis. He offered her some food and water, then sat with her quietly. "How do you feel about sticking around here for a while?" he asked at length.

Cass shrugged and sipped at the water bottle. "Prob'ly can handle that better'n going for a run to New Reno."

The courier gave her an uncertain look. "How about for like three weeks?"

The redhead chuckled, then realized that Six wasn't kidding. Irritation flared up in her chest, magnified by her raw emotions from withdrawal, and she glared at him. "Three fuckin' weeks?!" Cass snarled. "The hell do you expect us to do for three weeks?"

Six looked uneasy, but he offered her a placating smile. "Look, they need help, and it's gonna take some time. And you're not exactly in condition to travel," he added, glancing at her trembling hands.

Cass glowered at him, but she knew he was right. She clamped her jaw shut and tried to steady her hands.

The courier apologized after a few minutes, then got up and sighed. "Don't do anything stupid," Six said. "Go in if it gets too hot. They're weird, but decent."

Cass grunted and took a sip of the water. She ignored Six until he walked away, then pulled her hat off and mopped her brow. She was already miserable; a little extra heat wasn't going to kill her.

The hours dragged and Cass loathed every second. She could feel her hands shaking and she'd soaked through her shirt with the foulest sweat she'd ever had. It was a good sign that her withdrawal was progressing, but that wasn't enough to make it worthwhile. Her dry out felt more like a punishment, and Cass was swept into a depression, remembering all the terrible things she'd done. Thoughts of shady business deals and letting her temper get the best of her haunted the redhead. She knew she'd hurt many people in her time, some more than others. Veronica, the woman Cass loved so much, had been hurt worst of all.

The thought coupled with her raw temperament had tears burning in her eyes. Everything in Cass wanted a drink to drown out her guilt, but she refused to let herself do that. Not only did she want to do better for Veronica, the withdrawal was punishing and Cass decided she deserved it. The scribe deserved far better than the person Cass had been, and Cass wanted to be better, to try and be enough.

It was dark when Six found her curled up and lost in thought. The nighttime air was chilly, but Cass hadn't cared. Six paused a few feet away, making a slight face as he clicked on his Pipboy light. "Hey, you okay?"

Cass sat up and tugged her hat low over her eyes. "Feel like shit."

The courier offered her a sympathetic look. "You smell like it, too," he teased weakly. "Wanna grab a shower before bed?"

"Fuck you," she muttered, though she followed him over to the shower rooms. Six was waiting for her with some dinner when she emerged, and Cass took it back to her shack and picked at it before giving up and falling asleep.

=====:=====

Cass hadn't realized how much she had relied on drinking to pass the time until she refused to let herself drink. Minutes felt like years, and she would have been tempted to go touring the base if she wasn't shaking and didn't have sweat pouring out of her.

The sun was hot but there was a slight breeze, just enough to ease the stickiness of the air, and Cass found a shaded spot near the bunkhouse she'd been using and settled in. Six brought her food at lunchtime, keeping upwind of her but not mentioning the stench of her sweating out all the toxins in her system.

Cass thanked him anyway and ate what she could. The courier was too busy to stay with her for long; the Boomers had him helping out everywhere they possibly could. Cass was halfway surprised he hadn't passed out from exhaustion yet, and found herself almost glad that she didn't feel up to helping him. She wasn't at all jealous of his workload.

It wasn't long after lunch that her heart started slamming in her chest. Cass scowled and rested a hand on her chest, feeling the muscle jump under her ribs. She eased herself down onto the dirt and took a few deep breaths, waiting for the pounding to slow. The attack was relatively minor and faded after a few minutes, but Cass stayed flat on her back just in case another one struck. _It's just the withdrawal, _she reassured herself._ Causing all sorts of nightmares and shakes, it's gotta be causin' heart tremors too._

The shade and the breeze were pleasantly cool, but the brightness of the sun was still enough to give the redhead a headache. She dropped her hat over her face and closed her eyes, relaxing as best she could.

She dozed off once or twice, only waking up when a gust knocked her hat off of her face. Her thoughts were muddled with vague dreams of Veronica, but she grabbed for her hat and managed to catch it before it blew away. Cass ran her fingers along the frayed edge of her hat, still thinking of the brunette. She missed Veronica more than she wanted to let on, and the cowgirl craved to be close to her. Thinking of Veronica telling stories and cracking jokes made Cass ache with loneliness. She couldn't wait to get over her withdrawal so she could help Six with the Boomers and return to the Lucky 38.

There was still the matter of making up for everything she'd done, but Cass was willing to do whatever it took. If she could give up drinking, she knew she could do anything.

With a sigh, Cass lay down again and tried to drift off to sleep again. She began drafting apologies in her head, letting her eyes drop closed. The redhead never quite fell back asleep, though she let her thoughts wander. She didn't even hear the crunch of footsteps as she entertained visions of the Strip.

"Mother Pearl says you don't feel good."

Cass jolted and opened her eyes. A small Boomer child was standing before her, looking down at her expectantly. The redhead fought off a rush of embarrassment and sat up. "You could say that."

The boy stared at her for a while, almost to the point that Cass felt uncomfortable. Finally he shifted and pulled something from behind his back. "You can read this. It makes me feel better when I'm sick." He offered her a worn comic book, holding it out like a precious treasure.

Cass accepted it uncertainly, looking down at the cover. It was an old Grognak the Barbarian comic book, one that she probably would have enjoyed years ago. She smiled, knowing how meaningful the gesture was, and looked up at the boy. "Thanks."

He shuffled his feet and gave her a hesitant smile in return. "Grognak's my favorite. He's really strong, see?" The boy pointed at the cover, keeping his distance. "Raquel says there's a lotta monsters outside of Nellis."

"She's right 'bout that," Cass agreed, studying the boy. She couldn't imagine living such a sheltered life, one where a child's biggest worry was a fictitious monster in a comic book. "There's a lotta scary things out there, but it's not a bad place."

The kid's face twisted with disbelief. "Are there superheros like Grognak to protect people?"

Cass almost snorted, thinking about NCR's pitiful presence in the Mojave. She looked down at the comic book again, studying the drawing on the cover. Grognak was in the middle of an impressive punch, looking much like Veronica in the midst of battle, and the cowgirl smiled faintly. "Yeah, there are."

The boy's eyes went wide. "Have you ever met one?"

Cass hadn't quite realized what she'd said, but the look on the kid's face made her decide not to correct herself. Besides, Veronica would love to hear that she had been made into a superhero. "Yep. She's kinda like ol' Grognak, actually. She likes punching bad guys."

The idea of a new superhero apparently made the boy forget that he was supposed to be uneasy around Cass. He inched closer and looked at Cass expectantly. "What's her name?"

The cowgirl paused; "Veronica" wasn't a very good answer, considering the boy was expecting something powerful and outlandish. "Uh... Ronnie-fist?" It didn't sound quite right and Cass corrected herself immediately. "Ron-o-fist."

The boy repeated it softly, his eyes alight with wonder. "What's she like? How many bad guys has she put in jail?"

Cass found herself telling stories and embellishing her adventures with the scribe, and she was surprised by how much fun it was. The kid was easy to entertain, and coming up with stories was a good distraction from the withdrawal symptoms.

Hours passed before Six walked up, and he kept his distance and listened to Cass' tales. A smile spread across his face when he realized what was going on, and he waited for Cass to wrap up the last story. "Sorry to interrupt, but Raquel said it was time for dinner."

The boy sprung up, excited at the prospect of food. He beamed at Cass and thanked her for the stories, grabbed his comic book, then ran off toward the two large hangars across the base.

Cass watched him go, then glanced at Six. She rolled her eyes at the look on his face and got to her feet. "Don't even start."

"Ron-o-fist?" Six echoed, an impish grin on his face. "She'll love that."

"Fuck you." Cass fell into step beside the courier and they began the walk to the mess hall. "You look like someone used you for a grease rag."

The man laughed and shrugged. "I was helping Loyal and Jack fix a few things today. Turns out this old engine they had was all locked up, and once we finally got it working, it shot oil all over me. Jack shut it off, but Loyal nearly busted a gut laughing. Trust me, I look a damn sight better than I did earlier."

Cass grinned and gave him a once over, raising an eyebrow at him. He was still covered in grime and grease, his hair sticking up in a few spots.

Six laughed and gave her a nudge with his shoulder. "I don't take kindly to sass, Miss Cassidy," he teased. "Feeling any better today?"

"I don't feel like death anymore," she admitted, "but I still feel like shit."

"Good, shit is better than dead." Six walked with her to the mess hall and they found a place to sit. He greeted a few of the Boomers he knew and introduced Cass, then went to get some food.

Cass offered Jack and Loyal a smile, finding herself a little uneasy at the stern expression on Raquel's face. She held Six's spot uncertainly, answering the questions the Boomers asked.

The shy man, Jack, perked up when she mentioned she'd owned a caravan business and quickly asked if she'd worked with Crimson Caravan. He blushed when he explained that there was a particular girl he was looking for and Cass couldn't hide a smile.

"Naw, me'n their boss… don't get along real well. I had my own business, but she bought it out from under me. Course, it was for the best, since my caravan got burned to ash." She shrugged like it didn't still hurt, and turned to look for Six again.

The people around the table went quiet, and Cass faltered when she saw the sympathy on the Boomers' faces. She shifted uncomfortably, about to explain herself, but Loyal spoke over her.

"That's a rough bit of luck," the man said gruffly. He pulled a flask from inside his coat and handed it to her.

Cass took it shakily, almost able to smell the alcohol inside of the bottle. She could feel it burn down her throat before she even opened the lid, and every part of her wanted to drink every last drop in the flask.

Loyal was watching her, and Cass flipped the lid open and took a quick gulp, handing the bottle back. The old man smiled and tucked the flask away, returning his attention to his meal.

The drink sent a pleasant rush of fire down her throat, and Cass felt somewhat like she had just surfaced after drowning. The alcohol was like a breath of fresh air, and Cass needed more.

Six returned and Cass instantly got up to get her own food, getting a plate of the maize and brahmin casserole and continuing down the line. Toward the end, she finally found what she was looking for: a full bottle of whiskey. Cass nabbed it, tucked it into her pocket, and hoped no one had seen her. The back of her neck prickled with guilt and uncertainty, but she returned to the table and put a smile on her face.

The courier was laughing with Loyal about something when Cass sat down, and he took a moment to greet her before returning to his conversation. He didn't seem to notice the bulge of the bottle in her pocket, and Cass breathed a sigh of relief.

She ate quietly, only speaking when she was directly addressed, and did her best to finish her meal as quickly as possible. She escaped the mess hall before Six was even halfway through with his dinner and retreated to her bunkhouse with her contraband.

Cass knew it was a mistake, but she needed the drink. She shoved an old barrel up against the door and settled on the cot in the house, weighing the bottle of alcohol in her hands. After a moment, she yanked the cork out and took a long drink, swallowing a third of the bottle without stopping.

She started laughing once she took a breath, not even sure what was funny. Deep down she knew she was screwing up, but life felt so much better with a drink in her hand and whiskey in her veins.

Cass nursed the bottle for a few more minutes, drinking it slowly and savoring it. It was just one bottle, she promised herself. One bottle wasn't going to ruin her.

She had nearly drained the bottle when someone came pounding on her door.

"Cass!" Six barked. "Open up!" He only waited a second, then tried to shove the door open. His efforts were stalled by the barrel, but he rammed his shoulder into the door and knocked the barrel over with a loud crash.

Cass swore and tried to jerk the bottle out of sight, but Six stormed over to her and ripped it out of her hands.

"You gotta be fuckin' kidding me, Cass!" The man was livid and he looked around for any other bottles. "Is this it?"

Cass snarled at him and grabbed for the bottle again; there wasn't much left, but there was enough to fight for. Six shoved her back down onto the cot and glared at the redhead.

"Answer me," he ordered, his voice low and cold.

"Yeah, that's fuckin' it, now give it back!" Cass tried to get up once more, but the courier kicked her feet out from underneath her and she toppled back onto the bed again. "Goddamn it, Six!"

The courier threw the bottle against the wall, where it shattered. Cass cried out at the sight of the whiskey soaking into the dirt floor and sagged back into the cot.

Six searched the bunkhouse anyway, making sure that he couldn't find any other stashed bottles. When he had finished, he walked over and stood near Cass' bed again. It took him a few moments to speak, and when he did, he sounded disappointed. "You were doing so good, Cass."

"It's just one drink," she protested weakly, her voice embarrassingly thick with tears. Was she really that pathetic that she would cry over a bottle of whiskey?

Six didn't answer for a moment. "Yeah, but one can turn into a hell of a lot more." He rubbed at his eyes and sighed again. "It's great that you're doing this, Cass. You've made it through the roughest part. Don't mess it up now."

The cowgirl bit her lip so hard that she almost drew blood. The pain didn't quite stem the flow of tears, but she pretended it did. She wanted to snap at him, to be a complete bitch and piss him off. Cass was pissed, too, partially at Six, but mostly at herself. Her head was clear, though her thoughts were starting to get a little fuzzy from the whiskey, and she knew the drink was only going to set her back.

Six reached down and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just… I'm trying to help."

"I know." Cass rolled over and curled up on her side, staring at the wall. "It's my own fault."

Neither of them said anything for a long time, and finally Six went to the door. "Goodnight, Cass."

She nodded against her pillow, and he departed, leaving her alone to deal with her guilt before she fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Cass slept restlessly, and part of her was glad when sunlight finally began streaming through the cracks around the door. She felt awful, physically and mentally, but she couldn't stand laying there any longer.

She got up and showered straight away, ignoring the stares she received in the shower. Once she was clean, she wandered around the base, looking for things to do. Six was helping with the more intensive tasks, but there were plenty of little things for Cass to work on. She met Loyal's wife and helped her clean out the little seamstress shop she'd set up. After that, she helped gather shell casings from a firing range off near where the train tracks met the fence. Raquel oversaw the work and gave Cass a grateful smile when she was finished. The tasks took the better part of the morning, and after a rushed lunch that had Six keeping a watchful eye on her, Cass found herself looking for something else to do.

The boy that she'd entertained the day before found her and offered to take her to the Boomer museum. He told her his name was Bobby, and proudly proclaimed Ron-o-fist his new favorite superhero. Bobby seemed excited to introduce her to his friend Pete, and Cass didn't want to turn him down. Besides, she reasoned, the distraction would be helpful and keep her from letting her thoughts overwhelm her.

The museum was in a bunkhouse much like the ones she and Six had been allowed to use, but the inside was clean and a whole wall was covered in an impressive mural. Pete was young, but seemed to know the Boomers' history intimately, and Cass was surprised at how much she sympathized with the group. She hadn't ever been in the same situations, but she could understand their struggles.

When her tour was over, the boys began begging her for stories. Word had spread quickly among the Boomer children of the fantastic superheroine Ron-o-fist, and Cass was amused at the excitement in the childrens' eyes.

She relented, but before she could start weaving tales, the boys led her outside and to the Boomer schoolhouse. With a large group of children settled in front of her, Cass began telling more of her adventures with Veronica. The cowgirl told a less-violent version of Veronica saving her and Six from a Legion assassin, then moved on to tell about the way Veronica had helped the Followers build a new room for surgeries. Her story pool was running low when the sun began to set, but a question from one of the young girls caught her off guard.

"Did she ever save your life, Miss Cass?"

The redhead paused to think on that. She'd told most of the stories about actual fights where the scribe had protected her, but the moment out in the wastes when Veronica had seen Cass' heart acting up flashed in her brain. "Yeah," she answered after a moment. "She did. See, not only does she have super punching powers, she can save people from… uh, well, I got a heart condition, and it makes me real sick sometimes. That happened once, and Ver—uh, Ron-o-fist, she made me… feel better."

"How?"

Cass swore inwardly and scrambled to come up with something that sounded heroic. "It's the magic glove she wears," the redhead offered. "She grabbed my hand and squeezed the magic glove, and I got better. I was about to die," she fibbed, pleased by the awe that lit up the childrens' faces, "and she saved my life."

A chorus of amazed exclamations filled the school, and Cass grinned and got to her feet. When the children protested her leaving, the cowgirl promised to tell them more stories in a few days and excused herself to the bathroom.

Once she was free of the children, Cass let herself slump with exhaustion. She jammed her shaky hands into her pockets and started for her bunkhouse, planning on taking a nap. The withdrawal symptoms had been more intense, thanks to her drink the night before, and she had been suffering quietly all day. The work she'd done had helped take her mind off of it, but she was completely wiped out.

The cowgirl all but staggered into her bunkhouse and collapsed on the cot. The metal frame groaned at her sudden weight, but it held, and Cass closed her eyes and fell asleep immediately.

She woke with a jolt, torn out of a nightmare about Veronica getting her arm broken and screaming for Cass in agony. The cowgirl's shirt was clinging to her with sweat, and she gasped for breath, trying to shake the images. The orange glow of sunset was coming in through the cracks in the door, and Cass got up and left the bunkhouse to clear her mind.

As she trudged across the base, her heart started to flutter in her chest. Cass swore and stopped moving, taking careful breaths and bending over to keep her head from spinning.

"Just the withdrawal," she mumbled, pulling her hat off and combing loose strands of her hair back into place. There was a nagging worry in the back of her mind that Cass refused to pay attention to; if she didn't think about her heart giving out, then it wouldn't be true.

Cass fingered the pendant over her collarbone and sighed, then continued across Nellis. Everyone seemed to be heading for the mess hall so she fell into step with the Boomers and followed them inside and through the lunch line.

Bobby spotted her through the crowd and waved, and Cass grinned and tipped her hat in response. The boy beamed and turned back to his friends, gesturing wildly.

Someone bumped into her and sent her stumbling, and Cass nearly spilled her food everywhere. Raquel caught her elbow and steadied her, and Cass looked up and mumbled her thanks.

Raquel smiled, her brown eyes gentle and friendly. "There's some room over there," she advised, pointing at a spot a few tables down. "Six should be arriving shortly."

Cass stared at the woman blankly, halfway sure she had blinked and seen Veronica instead. Raquel's eyes were similar to the scribe's, but didn't have the same depth that Cass could get lost in. She shook herself out of her thoughts when Raquel's brow furrowed with concern, thanked her again, and then headed to the empty table.

The cowgirl's appetite was mostly non-existent, and she was pushing her food around on the plate when Six sat beside her. He was freshly showered, his hair still damp. She grinned at him weakly, eyeing his portion of food and deciding it was no more appetizing than her own.

Six leaned over to her and sniffed, nodding after a moment. "You're sober," he explained at Cass' raised eyebrow. "Just checking."

The redhead rolled her eyes. "What, you think I want another fuckin' guilt trip?"

Six laughed and began eating, shoveling the food into his mouth. He told her what he'd been doing between bites, mentioning that Mother Pearl seemed pleased with his progress. Once he had finished his food, he shot Cass a knowing smile. "I hear you've been helping out some, too."

Cass waved the comment away and took another reluctant bite. Her stomach didn't completely revolt and she allowed herself a surge of relief. "A little. Needed to get my mind off'a some shit."

"Oh?" The courier frowned and leaned forward on his elbows.

"Nightmares 'n shakes," Cass explained. "Nothin' major."

Six didn't look completely convinced but he shrugged. "You could go ask the doctor if you want," he suggested. "He's a little… stingy, but he's nice enough."

Cass grimaced and shook her head. "Prob'ly wouldn't have anything to tell me 'cept that I'm detoxing."

The courier gave a noncommittal grunt and they sat there in silence while Cass tried to eat some more. Finally, Six got up and took her tray for her, then returned to walk her back to their bunkhouses.

Cass hesitated outside of her door, looking to the courier. She wasn't tired, and she didn't want to have any more nightmares. "Poker?"

Six considered it for a moment, then shrugged. "Sure." He ducked into his bunkhouse to grab a deck of cards, and the pair returned to the mess hall.

A few of the Boomers joined them after a few hours, talking and betting cigarettes instead of caps. The game was friendly and Cass turned down the alcohol she was offered. Six shot her a proud smile, and Cass grinned at her cards.

Six left to go to bed when he couldn't stop yawning, but Cass stayed, playing until the last of the Boomers had departed. The hangar was huge and empty, the lights overhead buzzing faintly. The sound grated on Cass' nerves, and she was relieved to spot a radio across the huge room. She got up and brought the radio back to her table, turning it on and tuning it carefully until she found Radio New Vegas.

Cass let the familiar tunes fill the silence, the lyrics crowding out her thoughts. The cowgirl let a few songs play, then considered going to bed. She was tired, but her mind was still wide awake, so she dealt herself a hand of solitaire.

"Heartaches By the Number" began to play, and Cass hummed along, memories of catching Veronica belting the song in the shower putting a grin on her face. Part of her wondered if Veronica was awake and listening to the same song, and Cass ignored the loneliness that settled in her stomach and focused on the cards in front of her.

=====:=====

The days got easier, and Cass helped out where she could around Nellis when she felt up to it. The Boomers were becoming more trusting by the day, and Cass could honestly say that she had begun to enjoy their company. None of them compared to a certain brunette, but Cass still thought it was nice to feel needed.

Her insomnia had begun to catch up with her, and she couldn't spend as much time helping out as she had been. The redhead retreated to the old generator building, hiding from the sun in the shadows. She tried to sleep, but her body refused, and it was too hot to get comfortable. Cass itched for a drink, but refused let anything but water pass through her lips.

She was just beginning to contemplate getting food when she heard Six calling her name. Cass looked over and waved, fanning herself with her hat.

"Hey, Cass! You wanna go kill some bugs?" the courier asked as he approached.

The redhead squinted at him. "You trust me'n my aim?" She lifted her hands and showed him the way they trembled.

Six grinned. "If I can survive Benny when he's sober, I'm pretty sure I can dodge a few shots from a recovering drunk. C'mon, Raquel said this was gonna be a blast."

Cass let Six haul her to her feet, somewhat excited at the prospect of doing something useful. She grabbed her shotgun and Six led her to the generator building entrance, opening the door with a key.

"Hope you're not afraid of the dark," he joked, following Cass into the darkened bunker. There were a few emergency lights, but both of them paused to let their eyes adjust. Six clicked on his Pipboy light for good measure, and both of them recoiled at the sight of half-eaten Boomer corpses.

"That's not encouraging," Six offered into the quiet while Cass focused on not throwing up at the smell. He grimaced and motioned toward a hallway off to the side. "C'mon, let's get moving and see if we can get away from it."

Cass tightened her fingers around her shotgun and nodded, following the courier mutely.

They started down the hallway, their own shadows startling them. The hallway opened up into an office, and the pair relaxed when they realized it was empty. Six grinned at Cass and rifled through some of the papers left on the desk.

"Yeah, this is the place. This is just a bunch of readouts from the generator, I guess. I don't know, I can't really make sense of it." He tossed the papers back onto the desk.

The sudden noise echoed, and then a huge ant scuttled out from underneath the desk. Six jumped back and swore, and Cass lifted her shotgun.

A well aimed shot sent the ant flying across the room and into the wall. Cass started to grin victoriously, but a split second later, the ant exploded. She yelped and flung her arms up to cover her face, startled.

Six gawked at the gooey pile of ant remains. "What the hell was that?!"

Cass wiped ant guts off her shirt and scowled. "Hell if I know," she replied, "but I sure as fuck don't wanna get close to one if it's gonna blow itself up."

Six nodded his agreement and inched closer. He kicked at the ant's head experimentally, seeming relieved when it didn't explode. "I wonder what's making them do that."

"You can find out, I'm just gonna shoot 'em." Cass held her breath for a moment, sure she heard scuttling. "God, Veronica would hate this place."

Six laughed. "Dark and full of huge bugs. She definitely would."

They shared a grin and continued through the hallways. After a few more minutes of weaving around corners and overturned desks, the hallway opened up into a large room. A catwalk extended across the room, then turned into a staircase down to the floor. Faintly glowing orange flood lights were placed along the walls, just enough to send shadows across the floor.

After their encounter with the ant, both Cass and Six were wary and moved cautiously. The catwalk was clear of ants, but as she walked across it, Cass became aware of just how shaky her balance was. She gripped the handrail for support, inching along behind Six.

"Okay," the courier whispered, "Raquel said the first switch was here at the stairs." He held up his Pipboy and shone the light around, finally locating the switch on the wall. It looked like it was rusted in position, but Six gave it a tug and it creaked and snapped into place.

Some of the lights above them came to life with a groan, the buzzing noise deafening in the quiet. Somewhere in the large facility, more ants began scurrying around, and the pair exchanged a grimace.

"At least we'll be able to see them now," Six reasoned.

Cass rolled her eyes and pushed past Six to descend the stairs. She felt more stable with solid ground under her feet, and she kept an eye on the shadows as Six moved up behind her.

The courier pulled a map out of his pocket and studied it for a few moments, glancing up and studying his surroundings every now and then to orient himself. "The other switches should be… there."

They began making their way across the facility as quietly as they could, and Cass was disturbed by the size of the ant mounds scattered around the facility. "If we ain't careful, we're gonna get eat up," she murmured.

Six followed her gaze and cringed. He nodded once, then brightened. "Got any grenades on you?"

Cass snorted. "The way I been shakin', I'd have blown myself up by now."

The courier looked amused, but nodded and scanned the large room. He pointed out some shelving units, darting over and grabbing a few grenades. Six grinned mischievously and snuck over to the nearest ant mound. He pulled the pin out of a grenade and dropped it into the opening, then backed away and tossed another grenade at the pile. The second explosion triggered the first grenade, and the ant mound flew to pieces, collapsing in on itself.

Six whooped in spite of himself and Cass shot him a pleased grin before a scuttling army of ants began swarming at them. The courier realized his mistake and swore, grabbing for his assault rifle and firing into the mass of insects.

Cass let her shotgun spray take care of as many ants as she could, then turned the gun around and began bashing in the ants' carapaces. The ants nipped at her, ripping into her shirt and jeans, some drawing blood. She let out a string of colorful curses, leaping away when one of the ants reared back and started to spit fire.

The ant mistakenly ignited its fallen brothers' corpses, which began exploding in a chain reaction. Cass threw herself on the ground and covered her ears and head, the explosions sounding almost as bad as the night she and Six tried to approach the Boomers. After an eternity, the generator building fell silent, and Cass slowly raised her head.

Six sat up across the room, looking dazed. There were a few scrapes on his face and some burns on his armor, but for the most part, he looked uninjured. "Holy shit," he murmured breathlessly. It took him a minute to recover beyond that and he glanced at Cass. "You okay?"

She pushed herself up and got to her feet, dusting herself off and taking stock of her injuries. "Yeah, I'll live."

Six nodded and stood, looking around the room. Bits of ant parts were scattered across the floor, and there were definite scorch marks on the walls where some ants had exploded. The whole facility was strangely quiet, enough to make the silence more chilling than before.

The courier swallowed and looked at Cass, then returned his attention to the map. "Over there," he decided, pointing at a recessed area on the wall that looked like it opened up into another room. Cass was less than excited about moving deeper into the generator facility, but she followed him anyway. She mused on her similarity to a brahmin as they crept across the room, distracted by the sheer amount of ammunition stacked on shelving units around the room.

Six held out his arm to stop her before she walked into the wall, breaking her out of her thoughts. He grinned and shook his head, then reached up and yanked the second generator switch. The entire facility came to life with a deep groan, alarms blaring and lights flashing until the generator was fully powered.

There was no accompanying noise of ants this time, and the cowgirl breathed a sigh of relief. Six started to hunt around for loot, and she waited for a while, keeping an eye out for any other ants that might have been hiding.

The courier found a grenade rifle and decided that was enough, obviously uncomfortable in the building after the ant attack. He nodded to a different hallway as he tucked the rifle in his bag. "According to the map, that should be a quicker way out than having to climb all those stairs again."

"I'm all for that," Cass replied, keeping one hand on her shotgun as they walked to the hallway.

The path sloped up to the surface, curving back and forth a few times to save space. The climb was almost more difficult than crossing a catwalk, and Cass was wheezing by the time they reached the second flat point.

Six paused and smirked at her as she doubled over. "You know, for a caravan runner, you're way outta shape."

"Fuck you," Cass panted. "That was a long time ago. 'Sides, I wasn't tryin' to quit drinking then."

The courier nodded and let her have that excuse, waiting until she'd recovered to start walking again. Cass could feel her heart starting to flutter, but she ignored it and forced herself to keep walking up the hallway. They rounded the corner and came face to face with two more ants.

Cass snarled and blasted the nearest one with her shotgun. Six took out the other one, and both ant corpses exploded a few second later.

The cowgirl glared at Six. "You've got the worst goddamn luck of anyone I ever met. Why the fuck do I run with you?"

Six laughed and rolled his shoulders. "Because I'm a handsome devil that gets all the ladies."

Cass snorted. "Bullshit." She didn't say anything else, focusing on her heart jumping in her chest. The attack wasn't anywhere near debilitating and she tried to play it off as catching her breath.

Six picked up on it, though, and his smile gave way to concern. "You okay, Cass?"

She nodded and waved his words away. "Fine." The redhead scowled a little when Six raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "Just my heart condition actin' up. I'll be fine."

The courier didn't seem to know exactly what to say so he just nodded and kept an eye on her.

After a few more minutes, the pounding in her chest eased, and Cass let out a sigh of relief. She gestured toward the surface and offered Six a placating grin.

The sun was scorching when they emerged, but it was still a welcome change from the disturbing shadows in the generator area. It took Cass' eyes a few minutes to adjust, and when she could finally see, Raquel was approaching them.

"We got it cleared out and turned on," Six announced, handing the woman the keys with a broad grin. "No sweat."

Raquel looked pleased and pocketed the key with an appreciative smile. "Thank you. I'll be sure to let Mother Pearl know." She glanced at Cass and nodded her thanks. "Could I interest you two in some lunch, maybe?"

Six grinned and nodded, slinging his assault rifle over his shoulder casually. "Sounds good."

Cass glanced between the two and did her best not to roll her eyes; they both obviously had a thing for each other, but neither seemed ready to acknowledge it. She lagged behind the pair as they walked back to the hangar, doing her best not to listen to the bad jokes and laughter. Instead, she let her mind wander to Veronica, remembering different trips she'd taken with the scribe. Another ache started up in her chest, but when Cass checked her pulse, she realized it wasn't her heart acting up. She missed the brunette, much more than she thought she could miss anyone.

Cass wanted to be close to the scribe and hear her laugh and make her smile. She was sure she could die happy so long as she got to hear Veronica call her "Rosie" again.

The cowgirl nearly ran into Six as he stopped to hold the door, and she tugged her hat low over her eyes and ducked inside to hide her embarrassment. She grabbed a smaller portion of whatever slop the Boomers had cooked up, then searched out a table far away from Six to give him and Raquel some privacy.

It was still the middle of the day, so Cass couldn't even find Bobby to talk to, though she wasn't sure she had it in her to tell stories about Veronica. She would probably find a way to embarrass herself and talk about all the reasons she fell in love with the scribe, as uncharacteristic as it was. Between missing Veronica and her lack of a decent sleep, Cass knew she wasn't exactly the rough-and-tough cowgirl she liked to pretend she was.

She ate in silence and went to shower, cleaning the ant guts out of her hair. The water at Nellis never left her feeling completely clean, but it was better than nothing. She toweled off and returned to her bunkhouse, trying to get some sleep once again.

Bobby came by with Pete and a few of his friends after the school let out, asking for stories. Cass had been struggling with insomnia, so the distraction was a welcome one. She told embellished tales of how she met Six and some of the things she'd encountered while touring the wasteland with the famous courier.

The boys listened raptly, but as soon as dinner time rolled around, they jumped up and led Cass to the mess hall, chattering excitedly about school and stories they knew by heart. Cass listened as best she could; it was hard to follow both of them talking at once. She was saved from sitting with the boys by Raquel, who met her in the line for food.

She found herself sitting with Raquel, Six, Jack, and Loyal once again, and Cass felt awkward in the midst of the group of friends. Six had done a good job befriending the Boomers, but Cass still felt like an outsider.

The courier dragged her into conversation, the pair of them working together to talk about what had happened in the generator building. The Boomers looked horrified at the story, and thanked Six and Cass profusely.

Cass didn't miss the glimmer of admiration in Raquel's eyes when she glanced at Six, and the cowgirl caught herself wondering if Veronica had ever looked at her the same way. The thought was disorienting, and Cass dropped her gaze to her food.

Loyal recognized the conflict on the redhead's face, and he passed her his flask again. Cass looked at it and felt the weight of the flask in her hand, then shook her head and handed it back. The old man looked puzzled, and Cass offered him a weak smile.

"I'm tryin' to quit," she explained.

The Boomer elder still seemed confused, but he tucked the bottle away.

Six gave Cass a proud grin, then redirected the conversation. He told stories about New Vegas and traveling around, though the Boomers were immediately against the thought of leaving Nellis. Only Raquel showed any interest in Six's offer to go on an expedition someday, and Cass rolled her eyes at the goofy grin that grew on the courier's face.

The group dispersed not long after that. Six went with Raquel to go rebuild a watch tower, while Loyal and Jack went back to the hangar. Cass was left alone, and the silence was both comforting and deafening.

She got up and left the mess hall, stepping out into the cool night air. Cass considered trying to go to sleep, but she knew she'd just lay there and get restless. The cowgirl settled on taking a walk around Nellis. The stars glittered above her, hazy through a wispy layer of clouds. Her thoughts were scattered as she walked, but she did her best to focus them.

Cass was beginning to feel like they might never leave Nellis, since it seemed like Six always had another chore to do for the Boomers. She halfway considered leaving on her own, but she didn't know where to go. While she wanted to go to Vegas and find Veronica, there was a part of her that was crippled with fear.

She'd been gone for weeks, and had left things with the scribe in an awful state. Cass hated herself for making Veronica cry, and for running away. She deserved every mean thing the scribe could possibly have to say to her, and to never be graced with Veronica's presence again. Cass knew how much Veronica detested alcohol, and yet she'd tried to come onto her while completely drunk. _Of all the stupid fucking mistakes,_ Cass scolded herself.

A thousand different ways to apologize filtered through Cass' brain, most of which included getting screamed at or punched in the nose. Words weren't her strong suit, but Cass did her best to draft an apology that was short enough to get out before Veronica would react. _Sorry for being a dumbass drunk that tried to force myself on you._ The cowgirl snorted and rolled her eyes. It was callous, but it was the best she'd come up with during her entire stay at Nellis.

Cass lingered outside until the clouds began to thicken and she heard the far off rumble of thunder. The redhead trudged back to her bunkhouse and crawled into her bed, resigning herself to another sleepless night.


	9. Chapter 9

Cass managed to doze off a few hours before dawn, though the sound of children going to school woke her early. She scowled at the ceiling, but got to her feet and grudgingly went to get something to eat.

Cass retreated to her bunkhouse after breakfast, hoping that the food in her belly would help her sleep. She tossed and turned on her cot for what felt like ages, almost grateful for the knock at her door. "What?"

The courier stepped in, blinking a few times to let his eyes adjust to the dim light. "Morning." He laughed when Cass grunted. "Ready to head out?" Six asked with a grin.

Cass' eyebrows shot up. "Out? We headin' back to Vegas?"

The courier nodded and scratched at his beard. "I gotta run over to Lake Mead after that, but you're free to stay at the Lucky 38 if you want."

Thoughts of a plush bed and warm showers nearly made Cass whoop for joy, but the realization that she'd finally see Veronica again made a lump rise in the cowgirl's throat. She couldn't stop a grin, though part of her was nervous at the thought of the scribe.

Six didn't comment on the mix of emotions on the redhead's face, just smiled and nodded toward her bag. "Pack up whatever you got, I wanna get out of here before dark." He left to gather his things and say some goodbyes, leaving the door cracked open for light.

Cass didn't have anything to pack, but she cleaned up the bunkhouse a bit anyway. Her mind was whirling, and she couldn't shake the worry that too much time had passed and Veronica would never forgive her for running away.

She knew a drink would soothe her nerves, but Cass didn't want to give in now. Her body fought her desperately, aching for the alcohol, and Cass sank onto the bunk and dropped her head into her hands. She battled her own urges for what felt like an eternity, until Six finally came to get her.

The courier's arrival was a distraction, and she slung her bag over her shoulder and walked with him to the gate. Mother Pearl came to see them off and thanked them for their help. She wished Six luck in rescuing some lady in the water, and Cass nodded like she understood.

The courier promised a quick return and shook Pearl's hand, then grinned at Cass. "Ready to go?"

The pair set off through the ruined outskirts of Nellis, the excitement of leaving making their pace quicker than Cass could handle. Between the near jog and her lack of sleep, she was worn out almost immediately, and hated herself for asking Six to slow down. The courier didn't seem to mind, whistling as they walked.

"So," Cass began after they walked around a large crater from an artillery blast. "Raquel."

Six shot the redhead an embarrassed look. "What about her?"

Cass rolled her eyes. "Nothin'. Except y'all are nuts about each other."

"You think so?" Six winced at the hope in his voice and coughed. "Uh, yeah. Sure."

Cass laughed so hard she had to stop walking. Six joined in after a few moments, his embarrassment fading.

Their slow pace meant that the duo hardly made it past the ruins before night fell, and Six rationed out some provisions while Cass started up a fire. They ate and talked a little, and Six turned on his Pipboy radio to fill the silence.

The courier offered to take the first watch, but Cass shook her head. "Can't sleep anyway," the cowgirl told him. "May as well do somethin' useful."

Six couldn't find a way to argue, so he unrolled his sleeping bag and closed his eyes.

Cass settled back against a rock and stared up at the stars, picking out constellations her mother had taught her long ago. She sighed and banished her urge for a drink, then ran her fingers through the dust on the ground.

The tremble in her hands was mostly gone, and Cass was glad; she finally felt like she was able to shoot accurately. Her heart had continued to jump in her chest, though the attacks were nowhere near as bad as they could have been. She'd been able to continue walking after a few minutes, playing it off as the heat so Six wouldn't ask questions or mention it to Veronica.

Visions of the scribe's scared, teary face danced in front of the cowgirl once again, and Cass frowned to herself. She'd cleaned herself up and was proud of her progress, but she still needed to apologize.

Her thoughts were interrupted by her heart rate spiking, and Cass cringed as another attack started. She glanced at the courier but decided not to wake him unless it got bad. Her head felt woozy and her heart sounded like a muffled machine gun in her ears. After a few minutes that felt like an eternity, the attack passed and her heart returned to normal.

She couldn't ignore it anymore; her heart condition was getting worse. Her withdrawal was mostly behind her and Cass knew she couldn't blame it for the attacks anymore. Fear settled over her like a cold, wet blanket, and despite her best efforts, Cass couldn't shake it. She was following in her father's footsteps, and the redhead knew that her heart condition was going to end up being fatal.

Cass was only slightly encouraged by the thought that all of her attacks had been relatively minor. As long as her heart didn't completely debilitate her, then maybe she'd survive a lot longer than her dad.

Six woke a few hours later to take over watch, and Cass stretched out on the sleeping bag and closed her eyes. She listened as Six stoked the campfire and waited for sleep to come, but her thoughts were full of her heart and potential apologies. She had barely dozed off when the sun rose.

The courier let her sleep for a few hours, then they slowly packed up their camp and continued toward New Vegas. The Lucky 38 shimmered in the distance, the heat making the towering casino dance.

The pair stopped for lunch at an abandoned farm a few hours outside of Freeside, both grateful for the respite from the heat. They stayed there for as long as they could, hoping the heat of the day would pass, but eventually Six was itching to move, so they left again.

The trip was thankfully uneventful, and the sun sank toward the horizon as the outskirts of New Vegas rose around them. The familiar sights filled Cass with a strange sense of being home, something she hadn't felt for a long time. Six greeted a group of Kings wandering around the old tool factory, and they whooped and hollered a response. The courier laughed and nudged Cass with his elbow when he caught her staring up at the Lucky 38. "Almost there," he promised. "Good to be back in familiar territory, though, huh?"

Cass nodded and flashed him a grin. She shifted the weight of her bag on her shoulders and headed toward the gate to Freeside. The cowgirl was worn out, thanks to the heat and her lack of sleep, and she hoped that she'd sleep through the night when they made it back to the Lucky 38.

Even the slum looked nice and welcoming, and Six laughed when Cass said as much. The cowgirl smirked, exhaustion gnawing at her bones. She kept putting one foot in front of the other, hoping she'd make it to the casino before she collapsed.

The securitrons recognized the courier from a distance and rolled aside, allowing the pair entrance to the Strip. Six pulled open the gate and let Cass go through first, then followed her and pointedly ignored the hookers from Gomorrah that were dancing in the street. He relaxed beside her as they walked up the stairs to the Lucky 38's door, and soon they were in the elevator.

Cass leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, already imagining laying down in her bed. She was tempted to bypass everything and retire for the night, but Six started talking about dinner and a few games of poker to unwind, so she nodded and played along.

The elevator slowed, and then the doors slid open with a quiet ding. The weary companions stepped into the common room and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Honey, we're home!" Six called with a grin, setting his pack down against the wall and shrugging out of his armored jacket.

Footsteps came hurrying out of the bedroom, and Veronica ran out into the foyer, her eyes bright. Cass swallowed the lump that rose in her throat; seeing the brunette again made all the aching loneliness Cass had dealt with melt away. She couldn't keep her eyes off of the scribe, who was more beautiful than she remembered.

"Finally!" Veronica cried, moving toward Six. "You guys were gone forever! I was getting worried!" She hugged the courier tightly, then pulled away and looked at Cass.

"Hey," the cowgirl offered uncertainly, hoping that their friendship was still intact.

Veronica grinned and stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Cass. "Hi, Rosie," she murmured, giving the cowgirl a warm hug. She lingered there a few seconds longer than she needed to, offering Cass an affectionate smile when she finally pulled away.

Cass relished the embrace; it was more than she deserved, and the tenderness in the way Veronica had clung to her meant that she wasn't mad at Cass. She gave the brunette a weary smile, but her heart dropped when concern filled Veronica's face.

"Cass, you… don't look so good. Are you okay?"

Six nearly explained, but the cowgirl shot him a warning glance and spoke over him.

"Just tired," she assured the scribe, setting her bag down and faking a yawn to prove her point.

Veronica didn't look totally convinced, but she let it slide. "Did you guys eat? Arcade made dinner before he left to help Julie, but I think I can whip something up."

The scribe went off to the kitchen while Cass and Six headed for the bathroom to wash up. Six fixed Cass with a dubious look as soon as they were alone, and Cass rolled her eyes.

"What's so hard about explaining that you've been sobering up?" he asked before splashing some water on his face.

"Jesus, Six. Maybe I wanna surprise her. Besides," she added, "I wanna make sure I don't go back and fuck it all up again."

Six looked surprised at the redhead's forethought and nodded once before lathering his scruffy beard and picking up his razor. "Good point."

Cass grinned and wandered to her bedroom to get some clean clothes. The mere act of changing exhausted her, and she had to sit down for a few minutes to recover. By the time she walked into the kitchen, Veronica was dishing food and Six had settled at the table.

Cass sank into her seat and began to eat, glad that her appetite had returned. It helped that Veronica was a better cook than the Boomers' chef. The cowgirl ate as much as she could and smiled the whole time; she didn't want to come across as sicker than she was.

"So," Veronica said, sitting down with the pair. "What were they like? I mean, I've heard rumors, but…"

Six and Cass exchanged a grin; they'd both missed the scribe and her ever-present curiosity.

"They were nice," Six replied, taking another bite. "Pretty normal, really."

"If you call trigger happy and explosive-obsessed normal," Cass retorted, grinning when the other two laughed.

Veronica was full of questions, which Six and Cass tried to take turns answering. The courier ended up doing most of the talking, and Cass did her best not to look completely exhausted.

When a lull finally rose in the conversation, Six noticed that Veronica's cast was gone. The scribe grinned and flexed her hand, promising that she was good as new. Veronica talked a little about going to Mormon Fort to get the cast removed, but the story didn't take long to tell.

After a few moments of silence, Six gathered the dishes and dumped them in the sink before excusing himself to bed.

Cass rubbed at her forehead, unsurprised to see Veronica watching her quietly. She sighed and sat back in her chair, offering the brunette a smile. Everything felt normal between them, but she knew she'd run away at the worst possible time. Her apology hung in her mind, but she couldn't get her mouth to form the words. After a moment or two of struggle, she spoke. "We okay, Ronnie?"

The scribe nodded immediately. "Yeah. I mean… I'm sorry, Cass, I just…"

Cass waved away the apology. "I'm the one that oughta be apologizin'. Shoulda known better'n that, even if I was drunk off my ass."

Veronica smiled weakly, then dropped her gaze to the table top. "I missed you," she admitted after a moment, rubbing at a scratch on the table.

Something in Cass' chest swelled with warmth, and she grinned. "Missed you too, Ronnie."

A smile flashed across Veronica's face, but then she quiet and stared down at the table. She looked like she had something on her mind, though she didn't speak up. Cass waited for a while to see if the scribe would say anything, but decided not to push her.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes, and finally Veronica offered to get some cards and play poker, but Cass turned that down. "I'm beat," the cowgirl explained, getting out of her chair. "Might take you up on that tomorrow, though."

The scribe nodded slowly, dropping her gaze back to the table.

Cass pushed her chair in and paused, raising her eyebrow at the brunette. "Somethin' you wanna talk about, Ronnie?"

Veronica looked startled and glanced up at the redhead. "Uh… kind of, I guess," she admitted, the tips of her ears turning pink. "But it can wait until morning."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I promise." The scribe offered Cass a weak smile. "Besides, you look exhausted."

Cass chuckled and stifled a yawn. "That's a word for it."

Veronica grinned and murmured a "good night" as Cass headed for the door.

The redhead returned to the bedroom and sank onto her bed, exhaling slowly. She closed her eyes and was momentarily grateful that she was so worn out; sleep would come much easier for her that night.

=====:=====

Cass woke with a jolt, her brain muddled with panic. She sat up quickly, gasping for breath. It took her a moment to realize she hadn't been able to breathe, and she sucked in a few lungfuls of air, only to realize that her heart was starting to pound in her chest. The redhead swore and slammed her fist on the bed, hoping it wouldn't kill her just yet.

"Cass?" Veronica's voice was still foggy with sleep, but she turned on the lamp and looked over at the redhead. "What's…?"

The cowgirl didn't trust her voice and tried to wave away Veronica's concern, but the brunette figured out what was going on and got up. The bed dipped as Veronica crawled onto it, and the scribe caught Cass' hand and gave it a squeeze. "What do you need?"

Cass shook her head, her pulse roaring in her ears. She could hear the strange, too-rapid rhythm of her own heart, and she willed it to slow down. Veronica's fingertips pressed against her wrist, and Cass heard the brunette swear softly.

Her head started to feel light and the room began to spin. Cass did her best to sink back into her pillow, closing her eyes. She was vaguely aware of Veronica's hands helping her, and the redhead grabbed Veronica's arm, needing to know that the brunette was there. Her chest began to ache, and Cass wondered if her heart's violent pounding could break her ribs. The thought was more terrifying than amusing, and she screwed her eyes shut and tried to force her heart to relax.

Veronica stayed right beside Cass and ran her fingers through the cowgirl's hair, murmuring soothing words in spite of her own obvious panic. "It's okay, Cass, I'm right here. Don't… It'll be okay."

Cass fought away unconsciousness, scared that if she blacked out, she'd never wake up. It felt like an eternity until her heartbeat finally began to slow, and she found herself breathless and wheezing. She took a few careful breaths, then gave Veronica's hand a weak squeeze.

"Getting better?" the brunette asked. Cass nodded, and Veronica sighed with relief. "Thank god." She trailed her fingers through the cowgirl's hair once more, trying to smile down at the redhead.

Cass did her best to grin, then opened her mouth to speak. "How long was it?" she croaked, swallowing to get rid of the gravelly sensation in her throat.

Veronica glanced up at the clock on the wall and frowned. "About twenty minutes."

Cass swore, and part of her ached for a swig of moonshine. She did her best to ignore the urge and focused instead on the almost-normal thudding of her heart.

"… You're not okay, are you?" Veronica's voice was small and scared. "It's not just that you were tired. Something's actually wrong."

There was no point in hiding it; Veronica had just seen the worst attack Cass had ever had. "Prob'ly didn't help that I was wore out," the redhead admitted. She opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling, then glanced at Veronica. "You can lay down, y'know."

The scribe's eyes flickered with surprise, but she didn't argue and laid down beside the cowgirl. Her worry was still palpable, and she wound her fingers through Cass' and went quiet.

"It's gettin' worse," Cass said at length, finally feeling like she could breathe. "Ma said the same thing happened to Dad. Guess he spent some time around Vault City before he met her, but never did get any help. She said his attacks got worse'n worse, and then he just left. Ma always thought he didn't wanna let her see it kill him."

Veronica's breath caught and she gripped the redhead's hand tighter. "Cass…"

Cass chose not to admit that she was scared and rubbed her thumb across Veronica's knuckles soothingly. "Thought at first it was just part'a the withdrawal, but… it's gettin' worse. Of all the shitty things to inherit, huh? Lived through all this bullshit, and now my own heart's gonna kill me." She chuckled, but there wasn't much humor in the sound. A glance at Veronica revealed tears in the scribe's eyes, and Cass felt like she'd been shot.

"How much longer do you have?" Veronica asked, her voice shaking.

Words died in the redhead's throat as she realized how much the idea of her death was affecting Veronica. "Dunno," she replied after a moment, rolling onto her side to look the scribe in the eye. "As long as my heart wants to keep beatin', I guess. Could be a week, or a few years, if I'm lucky."

"Goddamn it, Cass," Veronica sniffled, closing her eyes as tears slipped down her cheeks. "That's not fair."

Cass shook her head, the scribe's distress tugging at something in her chest. "No, but… Jesus, Ronnie. Don't cry." She was terrible at consoling people, and she couldn't stand the sight of Veronica's tears. Cass released Veronica's hand in favor of resting her hand on the scribe's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Veronica wiped her eyes and gave the cowgirl a teary glance. "It's not fair," she repeated, her voice shaking. "You don't deserve to die."

"Karma," Cass said, shrugging.

"No!" The scribe gripped Cass' arm and shook her head fiercely. "You lost your caravan and everything else. You don't deserve this too! Something good has to happen."

Cass wasn't sure if she could believe the scribe's words as strongly as Veronica seemed to, but the conviction in Veronica's voice made a lump rise in the redhead's throat. She studied the brunette for a few moments, deciding that she was beautiful even with tears in her eyes. "Maybe it already has," she ventured after a moment. "Meetin' up with Six and gettin' outta the outpost wasn't half bad. And hell, I got to meet you. The way I figure, that's pretty damn good."

Veronica's face twisted and she started crying again. Cass wasn't altogether sure how to comfort the scribe, but she was willing to do anything to stop her tears. The redhead shifted closer and wrapped her arm around Veronica, rubbing gentle circles on the brunette's back.

The scribe swallowed and struggled to compose herself, fisting her hand in the cowgirl's shirt. After a few moments, she managed to dry her eyes and focused on Cass once again. She gazed at the redhead, still obviously upset but seeming calmer.

The cowgirl offered Veronica a smile, ignoring the urge to kiss the scribe again. She didn't want a repeat of the disaster that had been, especially not right after her heart had gone haywire. Besides, it wouldn't be fair to Veronica to kiss her and then die. Cass swallowed a rush of remorse at the thought. She knew Veronica cared about her, and she had a feeling that her death would hurt the scribe more deeply than any drunken faux pas.

"I don't want that for you," Veronica murmured thickly.

Cass didn't know what to say; there hadn't been any escape for her father, and Vault City was a long way away. Her odds weren't good, but she figured she might be able to get a couple more good years out of her heart. Hopefully that would be enough. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault. Just…" The scribe sighed and closed her eyes. "God, Cass."

Neither of them said anything for a long time. Veronica didn't move away, seeming content to lay there in Cass' arms. She released the cowgirl's shirt, her fingers going to the pendant hanging around the redhead's neck. Veronica studied it for a minute, then let go of the pendant and rested her forehead against Cass' shoulder.

"My dad left it for me," Cass explained quietly. "Guess he thought it was fitting, with the name and all."

"It's pretty." The scribe was quiet, then sighed. "Are you okay to go back to sleep?"

"I s'pose." Her heart felt normal and steady once again, and she knew there was no point in staying awake to worry about it. Cass was perfectly comfortable and started to let her eyes drop closed, but then Veronica pulled herself out of the redhead's arms.

The brunette gave Cass a sad smile and reached for the lamp. The room went dark with a soft click, and Cass felt eerily alone.

The bed shifted as Veronica got to her feet, and Cass acted on impulse, stretching across the bed and reaching out in the dark. By some miracle, her fingers closed around Veronica's wrist, and Cass opened her mouth. "Stay?"

Veronica paused, and Cass suddenly felt foolish. The scribe's bed wasn't even six feet from her own; it wasn't as if Veronica was leaving.

"Sorry," Cass mumbled. "I just…"

The bed dipped again, and Veronica crawled under the covers beside her. "Scoot over," the scribe murmured, and Cass immediately retreated to her half of the bed.

Veronica settled into the bed, then reached out and hooked her pinky around the redhead's. "Goodnight, Rosie," she whispered.

Cass grinned in the darkness. "G'night, Veronica."


	10. Chapter 10

Cass woke slowly, warm and content. It took her a few minutes to remember her heart issues the night before, but those thoughts were forgotten when she realized Veronica was curled up against her.

The scribe's head was resting on her chest, her fingers curled gently in Cass' shirt. She was warm and fit perfectly against the cowgirl, tucked under Cass' arm like she belonged there.

Cass couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so content. Usually when she woke up in bed with a woman, the cowgirl escaped quickly, rarely leaving a note. This time was different, and Cass wanted it to last forever.

She laid there for a while, enjoying the cozy embrace. Cass closed her eyes and pretended she was still asleep when Veronica stirred. The scribe shifted against her, inhaling deeply before she realized where she was and froze. Veronica held her breath for a moment, obviously expecting Cass to wake up and react poorly. Once she decided the redhead was asleep, Veronica curled up against her more securely and smiled into Cass' collarbone.

Cass couldn't stop a grin from playing across her face, and she laid there and savored the feeling of Veronica snuggled against her. She stayed still, determined to let the embrace last for as long as possible.

Veronica got up first, releasing Cass as gently as possible and pausing only to press a feather-light kiss to the redhead's cheek. She froze when she saw the redhead's grin, and mortification flooded her features when Cass opened her eyes.

"Never pegged you as the big spoon," Cass drawled, waggling her eyebrows.

"Oh god." Veronica buried her flaming cheeks in the cowgirl's shoulder. "How long were you awake?"

"Longer'n you."

The scribe groaned and reached for her pillow blindly, smacking Cass with it.

Cass laughed as Veronica escaped the bed, choosing to stay there and absorb the last of the warmth from the sheets. She listened to the scribe greet Six and head into the bathroom, then closed her eyes and smiled. Waking up next to Veronica made her happy, so much so that she could almost forget what had happened the night before.

The smile faded from Cass' face as realization washed over her again. Her heart was giving out, just like her father's, and she was going to die. It was almost poetic, she figured, to be slammed with a death sentence right after falling in love.

Cass didn't know the details, but she knew Veronica had dealt with more than her share of abandonment, especially by people that she loved. The scribe seemed to have moved beyond it, but there were still moments that Cass had seen distant hurt in her eyes. The cowgirl knew the losses had deeply wounded Veronica, and she hated to think that she'd add to that.

She considered packing her things and leaving, to put as much distance between herself and the scribe as she could before her heart gave out. Veronica wouldn't have to watch her die, and the thought was almost comforting. Cass finally understood why her father had left; imagining Veronica cradling her dead body made her feel sick.

She could do it. Cass didn't have much in the way of belongings, so she had plenty of room in her bag for supplies. If she slipped out in the middle of the night, she'd have a few hours' head start on anyone that tried to follow her. By the time Veronica realized she was gone, Cass would be halfway back to the Mojave Outpost.

Images of the scribe reeling in shock at Cass' disappearance flashed through the redhead's mind, quickly followed by visions of herself dying alone in a rusty sewer drain. The former hurt more than a knife to the gut, and Cass closed her eyes. If she was honest with herself, she was scared out of her mind, and she didn't want to face death alone. She didn't want to hurt Veronica, but she knew that whatever she did would end up hurting her anyway. Cass didn't want to be selfish, but she wanted Veronica with her until the end, no matter how soon it came.

She wouldn't leave, she decided, though there was still the issue of kissing Veronica and then dying. It wasn't going to be easy no matter how she went about it, but Cass figured that the best option would be to restrain herself and not act on her feelings for the brunette. Having Veronica in her life as a friend was better than not having Veronica around at all.

Cass couldn't stand her own thoughts and got up, making her way into the kitchen. She nodded a greeting at Six and grabbed some Sugar Bombs. Upon realizing she couldn't eat them with whiskey and no one had traded for brahmin milk lately, Cass sighed and stuck the cereal back in the cupboard. She poured herself a cup of the coffee Six had made and settled at the table, eyeing Six. "You look like you're headin' out."

Six glanced down at his armor and shrugged. "Yeah. I told Pearl I'd go get her the plane, so…"

"Plane?"

The courier nodded and drained the last of his coffee. "Loyal kept calling it the Lady in the Water. Turns out an old Pre-war plane sank in Lake Mead. I'm gonna go bring it up and send it back to Nellis."

Cass blinked. "You plannin' on growing some gills?"

Six laughed and explained that Jack had made him a gadget that would allow him to breathe underwater. The courier seemed to have confidence in it, so Cass didn't argue with him. It'd be his own fault if he drowned.

"How're you doing?" Six asked, changing the subject and focusing on the redhead. "Finally get some sleep?"

Cass nodded after a moment, choosing not to tell the courier about her heart issues. "Nice to be back in a real bed."

Six grinned and stretched before getting up. "You know it. I'm gonna hit the bathroom, then head out. See you in a few days?"

"If you don't drown," the cowgirl retorted.

Six scoffed and waved the comment away, disappearing into the suite.

Cass nursed her coffee in silence, torn between the thoughts of her heart giving out and waking up in Veronica's arms. She sighed and let a smile grow at the corner or her mouth, though something in her ached at the thought that she wouldn't be able to wake up with Veronica curled around her for years to come.

The scribe slipped into the kitchen a few minutes later and offered to make breakfast. She rifled through the cupboards and pulled out some ingredients. Veronica hummed as she set to work, failing in her attempt to inconspicuously keep an eye on Cass.

The redhead wanted to roll her eyes and remind Veronica that she wasn't going to drop dead, but the thought stuck in her mind and she realized that it was a possibility. She frowned into her coffee and tried to swallow the regret that rose in her throat.

"What was their cooking like?" Veronica asked after a few moments. "The Boomers, I mean."

Cass looked up, startled out of her thoughts. "Uh… Pretty fuckin' awful. Everything was slop with a little bit of meat thrown in when they had it."

"Ew," Veronica sympathized, wrinkling her nose. "Well, hopefully I can make these pancakes turn out okay."

The cowgirl grinned. Veronica wasn't the best cook in the world, but she could make a fantastic breakfast. She answered a few more idle questions about the Boomers as Veronica cooked, enjoying the simplicity of spending time with brunette.

After a few minutes, the scribe set two plates of pancakes on the table and sat down beside Cass. She grinned at the cowgirl and grabbed the agave syrup she had haggled for ages ago and drizzled it over her plate.

Cass did the same, and thanked Veronica for the food before they began eating. The food was warm and delicious and familiar, and Cass cleaned her plate and sat back with a grin on her face.

Veronica finished a few minutes later, then spent a few seconds studying the redhead with a fond smile. Her eyes gave away sadness, and the scribe's smile wavered after a moment. When Cass raised an eyebrow, Veronica simply shook her head and gathered the dishes.

Cass went to shower, relishing the first hot shower she'd had in weeks. She stood under the stream until the water began to get cold, then got out and toweled off roughly. Putting on clean clothes and feeling refreshed was a wonderful sensation, and she was tempted to celebrate returning to the Lucky 38 with a drink.

The thought stopped her in her tracks, and she went to the bedroom and began emptying out her footlocker. Cass was disturbed by how many bottles of alcohol she pulled out of her trunk, fighting off the urge to take a drink of each bottle.

She loaded the drinks into a bag and headed into the foyer just as Veronica ducked into the bathroom to shower. Cass went to the kitchen instead and began dumping the bottles down the sink. She filled the trashcan with empty glass bottles, and watching the last of the amber liquid swirl down the drain left a sense of freedom on her shoulders. The alcoholic that lingered inside her cringed, but Cass turned away and let herself ignore the loss.

She walked out of the kitchen and into the foyer, exhaling slowly. Cass spent a few moments trying to think of things to do, and finally grabbed a magazine and went to the den to read. The scribe found her there, staring at pages of _Milsurp Review_ without really seeing them.

Veronica settled at the table nearby with a bag full of scrap parts. She was quiet for most of the morning, fiddling with the inside of an old radio idly. She looked lost in thought, but she kept sneaking glances at the redhead.

Cass pretended not to notice, though she was sure the scribe was still thinking about her heart condition. The cowgirl was shaken too, and as much as she tried not to focus on it, she found herself checking her pulse and waiting for her heart to stop working.

She debated telling Veronica about the stories of Ron-o-fist as a distraction, but the scribe got up and went to the bedroom before Cass could open her mouth. The redhead blew out a breath and wished she had a way to fix her heart and stop both of them from worrying. She didn't want to be the cause of any more strife in Veronica's life, she wanted to talk and laugh and tease each other again. The cowgirl frowned and cursed her luck, getting to her feet to move around and burn off some of her nervous energy.

No sooner had she gotten to her feet than did Veronica step back into the doorway. "Hey, Cass?" Veronica gave the cowgirl a hopeful smile. "How do you feel about taking a little trip?"

Cass smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Depends. Where y'wanting to go?"

"I want to take you to the Brotherhood," Veronica said simply, suddenly unable to meet the redhead's gaze. "If anyone has the tech to help with your heart, it's them."

Cass blinked. "You're kidding."

The scribe faltered and shifted uncomfortably. "No, but… Look, if you don't want to, I understand. I mean, I don't, but I can try and—"

"Ronnie," the cowgirl drawled, cutting her off with a grin. "You're rambling. Relax."

Veronica looked embarrassed. "I don't want to push you," she admitted.

Cass shook her head, then studied the scribe for a moment. "Y'think they can help, huh?"

Hope flickered in brown eyes. "Maybe."

The redhead swallowed a sigh, unable to resist the look on Veronica's face. "Well shit," Cass said, grinning even though she knew better than to hope. She was a ticking time bomb, and she knew it would take a miracle to save her. "Got nothin' to lose, right?"

Veronica's shoulders slumped with relief and she returned the smile. "Thanks, Cass."

"Hey, if it works, I oughta be thankin' you." Cass clapped the brunette on the shoulder, doing her best to look excited. "Whaddya want me to pack?"

They set out an hour later, both of them quiet and lost in thought. Veronica was worrying her lower lip between her teeth for as they walked out of Freeside, and Cass fell into step beside her. Neither of them said much as they headed south, but the silence wasn't nearly as unnerving as it had been when Veronica had been upset with her. Cass could catch Veronica's eye and they would share a smile, and the cowgirl wished she trusted herself to stay alive long enough to pursue a relationship with the scribe.

Their friendship was fantastic, but Cass wanted more mornings where she could wake up and feel needed, wrapped up in Veronica's arms. She wanted to kiss the brunette senseless, and part of her wanted to haul the scribe to the bedroom and lock the door, then stay up all night making her come over and over again.

But Cass wouldn't let herself do that to Veronica. She cared about the brunette too much to love her and die. The redhead snuck a glance at Veronica, suddenly worried that what she felt for the scribe was unreturned. She'd spent so much time just assuming that Veronica would feel the same way, and hadn't ever really considered that there was any other outcome.

Cass did her best to study the way Veronica looked at her, hoping to see some clear indication of the scribe's feelings. Veronica's face was troubled, though, whatever she felt muted by her obvious concern for the cowgirl.

Before Cass could think on it any more, her heart started to slam in her chest, aching with every contraction of the muscle. Cass grit her teeth, but did her best not to let her discomfort show. She plastered a smile on her face when Veronica glanced at her, fanning herself with her hat.

The scribe remained blissfully ignorant and led Cass through a small pass in the mountains. She scrambled up a gravelly slope, then turned and offered Cass her hand. "Doing okay?" Veronica asked as she pulled the redhead up onto solid ground beside herself.

Cass nodded and took a drink from her canteen. Her heart rate had spiked and her pulse felt fluttery in her chest, but it still wasn't as bad an attack as the previous night. She tucked her canteen away and hauled herself to her feet.

Veronica started through the gorge, and Cass did her best to keep up. The cowgirl could hardly see straight and felt like she was going to pass out. She didn't want to worry Veronica and did her best to fight off the dark spots in her vision. Cass' head was swimming as her heart pounded in her chest, and she managed to take a few more steps before she stumbled and fell to her knees.

The brunette turned around at the noise. "Cass!" She scrambled back over and knelt in front of Cass, grabbing the cowgirl's arm to steady her. Fear flashed in the scribe's eyes and she pressed her fingers to the pulse pounding in Cass' neck. "Damn it, no!"

Falling to her knees had helped the redhead's blood pressure stabilize, and Cass fumbled to give Veronica's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. She got as far as curling her fingers in the brown burlap before a particularly painful spasm ripped through her chest, and Cass hissed and slumped forward.

Veronica caught her and pulled Cass close, keeping the cowgirl steady against her chest. "Hold on," she pleaded, her voice cracking. "I'm right here, Cass. Don't leave me. Just hold on."

Cass nodded into the brunette's shoulder and tried to stay conscious and match her pulse with Veronica's. Her heart gradually slowed, but she didn't pull away until she was sure she felt stable again.

Veronica didn't release her hold on Cass' arm, watching the redhead carefully. "You okay?"

The cowgirl nodded slowly, picking her hat up off of the ground. She'd seen tears in Veronica's eyes, and Cass found that she was too ashamed to meet the brunette's gaze. "Sorry."

Veronica tried to say something, but her voice broke on the first syllable. She wiped at her eyes and shook her head, then got to her feet and offered Cass her hand.

The cowgirl let Veronica haul her to her feet, upset with herself for having a heart condition in the first place, and for causing Veronica so much grief. She stared at her boots, running her fingers along the brim of her hat uneasily.

Veronica exhaled slowly, then plucked the hat from Cass' hands and dropped it on the cowgirl's head. When Cass looked up, Veronica tugged it down over her eyes playfully. There was a faint smile on the scribe's face and she glanced over her shoulder. "We're almost there."

"Right behind you," Cass promised, adjusting her hat.

She followed the scribe through the gorge, taking down a few radscorpions with her shotgun before they could pose a threat. Veronica offered her a grateful smile, skirting far around the corpses.

The pair finally walked over a broken piece of chain link fence and into a hilly valley. All of it looked the same to Cass, but Veronica seemed to know right where she was going. The brunette hooked her arm through Cass' and led her across the valley.

A metal door in the side of a sand dune seemed to appear out of nowhere, and Veronica pressed the button to open it. It squealed as it opened, but before Cass could cringe, Veronica led her inside and out of the blazing sunshine.

The air was cool in the bunker entryway, and Cass breathed a sigh of relief without even realizing it. Veronica grinned at the redhead and pushed her hood back onto her shoulders. She ran a hand through her hair and exhaled slowly, then headed over to the intercom beside another door. She seemed to flip a switch inside herself, the worry in her body instantly replaced with false cheer.

"Hey, whoever's on guard duty today. It's Veronica. Your favorite Procurement Specialist," she joked, rolling her eyes at the title.

A sigh came crackling through the speaker. "McNamara's orders, Veronica. What's your password?"

"Oh c'mon, Flagg." The silence that met her made Veronica pout, but she gave in. "Ugh, fine. Gecko alpha Yangtze oh six nine. Happy?"

The door opened with a quiet hiss, and Veronica gave the intercom a scowl for good measure. "He's no fun," the brunette murmured confidentially, motioning toward the stairs descending into the bunker.

Cass was somewhat unnerved by the prospect of entering the Brotherhood bunker, but she wasn't one to back down because something scared her. She started down the stairs, Veronica right behind her.

The first flight wasn't very long, and a dark-skinned man in full power armor was standing guard at the landing. Cass' fingers twitched toward her shotgun, but the man glanced between her and Veronica and looked decidedly unimpressed. "Another outsider, Veronica?"

"Hey, Ramos," Veronica said brightly, steering Cass down another flight of stairs. She seemed unfazed by the lack of a response, keeping a smile on her face.

Cass marveled at the sheer number of stairs they went down, feeling sorry for the people that had dug the bunker. The metal walls felt somewhat like a coffin, but she kept that to herself, following Veronica through the halls.

The scribe tried to greet a few more people, but remained mostly ignored. A few people grunted noncommittally, but Veronica didn't seem to let it dampen her spirits. A frown started on Cass' face and she nearly commented on the way people were treating Veronica. The brunette interrupted her thoughts by pointing out the clinic, and Cass' thoughts left her as anxiety settled over her shoulders.

Veronica noticed the tension in the cowgirl's body and took Cass' hand. She gave it a quick, comforting squeeze then pulled away before anyone could see. Veronica led Cass into the infirmary, walking up to the desk where a woman sat making notes on a computer.

"Schuler?"

The older woman didn't respond for a few moments, finishing up her notes before she looked at Veronica. "Well, Miss Santangelo. What can I do for you today?" She glanced at Cass and raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

"This is my… This is Cass. Rose of Sharon Cassidy," the brunette amended, motioning to the cowgirl. "She's got—there's something wrong with her heart, and I wanted to see if you can help her." A note of desperation leaked into Veronica's voice, but she didn't seem to care.

Schuler's eyes were impassive as she stared at the scribe. "You know my policy, Veronica."

"I know, but—"

The older woman directed her gaze to Cass. "Would you mind stepping outside for a moment?"

Cass looked over at Veronica, her defenses rising at the distress on the brunette's face. She was about to shake her head and refuse when Veronica looked over at her and nodded. Cass blew out a breath and moved for the door.

Standing in the hallway was awkward; patrolling Brotherhood guards gave her strange looks and she felt like a criminal despite having done nothing wrong. The walls were thick, but she could almost hear Veronica and the doctor arguing inside the clinic. The cowgirl couldn't make out what was being said, but she had a pretty good idea. It was no secret that the Brotherhood wasn't friendly to outsiders, and Cass realized how difficult it would be to get an audience with the doctor.

Cass was about to interrupt and tell Veronica that it wasn't worth it when the door opened.

Veronica emerged looking worn out but victorious. She offered Cass her hand and smiled. "She's gonna take a look and see what she thinks," the scribe murmured.

The protest died on Cass' lips and she allowed Veronica to guide her back into the clinic.

The doctor was waiting for her when they entered, and she asked a few questions about Cass' heart before leading the cowgirl into a room filled with complex machinery. Cass shrugged out of her jacket when Schuler told her to, and Veronica quickly folded the worn leather over her arm and stepped out of the way.

Schuler ran a few tests without explaining much. At one point Cass could hear her heartbeat and the whooshing sound of her own blood filling the room. The doctor passed a few handheld scanners over the redhead's chest, then tapped a few keys on the computer and led the women into the clinic proper. She motioned for Cass to sit down on one of the beds and grabbed a clipboard.

Cass settled on the cot uneasily, slightly comforted by Veronica perching on the chair beside her bed.

Schuler didn't spare the brunette a glance, rifling through the papers on her clipboard and sitting at the computer at the left side of Cass' bed. "Describe your symptoms, Miss Cassidy."

"Uh." The redhead felt her mind go blank, and words to describe her condition wouldn't form. "Feels like my heart's gonna bust outta my ribs sometimes. I'll feel it start to hurt, then it starts pounding and gets all fluttery, like a tumbleweed bouncin' around in my chest. Sometimes I get all dizzy-headed and black out." She glanced at Veronica, cringing at the distant ache in the scribe's eyes.

The doctor scribbled a few things on her papers and moved to the next question. "Do you know of any family members that have had similar issues?"

Cass nodded. "My dad had the same thing. I guess. He walked out when I was still the size of a brahmin calf. Ma said his got so bad it 'bout killed him."

Schuler's pen flew across the page as she took notes, and she continued down the page, asking questions and writing down the redhead's answers. Some of the questions seemed completely unrelated to her heart, but Cass did her best to answer them anyway.

"Is there anything you know of that makes these symptoms worse?"

"Chems," Cass answered immediately. "Can't go near 'em. Other'n that, no idea. Alcohol don't make it worse, food doesn't bother me, nothin'. Just chems, far as I know."

The doctor nodded and wrote that down, then paused to flex her hand and look up at Cass. "And how long has this been going on for you, Miss Cassidy?"

"Been happenin' all my life, but it just got worse a few weeks ago when I was detoxin'." Cass watched as Schuler nodded and wrote something on her clipboard. "It's been pretty bad ever since."

The doctor made a few more notes and studied what she'd written. Finally, she looked up at the cowgirl and nodded again. "I'm going to analyze the test results, and I should be back with an answer for you shortly, Miss Cassidy."

The redhead nodded wordlessly, and Veronica thanked the doctor quietly. Schuler paid no attention to the gratitude, getting up and retreating to her office.

"Hey. You said something about detoxing," Veronica said after a few moments of silence, a slight frown creasing her brow. "I thought you couldn't use any chems…?"

"I quit drinkin'." Cass bit back a grin at the shock that went across Veronica's face. "Gonna have to find me a new nickname. Whiskey Rose ain't gonna cut it anymore."

"You're serious." Veronica sounded stunned. "You actually quit?"

Cass nodded, the look in Veronica's eyes making the miserable weeks at Nellis worth it. She was proud of herself, and seeing the awe on Veronica's face was better than any sip of whiskey.

The brunette gazed at Cass for a few minutes before speaking. "Wow."

Cass rolled her eyes. "I'm bein' considered for goddamn heart surgery, and that's all you gotta say?" she teased.

Veronica looked appropriately embarrassed and fidgeted in her seat. "Sorry, I just… I'm proud of you, Cass." She offered the redhead a smile, worry flickering onto her face when the doctor approached them once again.

"It looks like we may have a solution for you, Miss Cassidy," Schuler said, ignoring Veronica's relieved sigh. "The surgery won't take terribly long, providing there are no complications, and it should be relatively straight forward."

Cass was lost the second medical terms started flowing out of the doctor's mouth, and she looked to the scribe for guidance. Veronica looked confused as well, and Cass wasn't sure if that was comforting or not. "Hey, Doc," she interrupted, doing her best to give the woman a polite smile. "I ain't real big on the jargon. You thinkin' it's gonna work is good enough for me."

The doctor gave her a thin smile. "I'm certain this will work, all I need is your consent."

Cass could sense the brunette holding her breath, but there was no question in her mind. Any chance for success was better than a looming death sentence. "Do it."

Schuler nodded and made a note on the computer at Cass' bedside. "The procedure is simple. We won't be cutting your chest open; it will all be done through a small incision in your leg. Anesthesia will be administered to put you to sleep, and—"

"Woah, wait up a second." Cass frowned to mask the uncertainty rising in her chest. "How's that different from chems? How d'you know this anesthesia shit ain't gonna kill me?"

"Everything will be completely under control," the doctor assured Cass firmly. "The procedure is minimally invasive and you should recover quickly. In the worst case, we have life-saving measures within easy reach."

The words were hardly reassuring, but the redhead could tell that was all she was going to get out of the doctor. She looked to Veronica, who shot her a brave smile, and exhaled slowly. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

The doctor nodded and called for her assistants to get ready, then ordered Veronica out of the room.

Veronica looked less than pleased, but got up and started for the door. She hesitated and gave Cass an anxious glance. "I'll be here," she promised quickly. "When you wake up, I'll be here, I swear."

The cowgirl smiled and nodded like she didn't have a reason to be scared. "Holdin' you to that, Ronnie," she teased, catching a glimpse of Veronica's nervous grin before the scribe was led out and the door closed.

Everything felt chaotic and unreal as the doctor bustled around and made all the necessary preparations, and Cass swallowed anxiety. She stripped out of her clothes and put on the flimsy gown that was shoved into her hands, then followed Scribe Schuler into the operating room. She laid down on the bed there, making a face at the chill in the air. Before she could complain, a mask was put over her face and the world faded away.


	11. Chapter 11

Cass' head felt heavy when she woke up, and for a minute she was sure she was dead. Beeping noises echoed faintly in her ears, and Cass let her mind drift toward them. Slowly, she regained consciousness, the sounds growing louder and clearer until Cass finally had the strength to open her eyes.

Her throat felt gravelly and too-dry. Cass nearly choked when she tried to open her mouth, and heard someone jolt beside her.

"Cass!" Veronica's voice was scratchy, though if it was from sleep or crying, the redhead couldn't tell. She tried to speak, but the redhead silenced her with a shake of her head.

Cass didn't trust her voice and mimed drinking something. Veronica shot up and found a cup, filling it at the doctor's sink and returning to Cass. The brunette helped her sit up, guiding the cup to Cass' lips. The cowgirl drank greedily, the water soothing her raw throat. When Cass had swallowed a few mouthfuls, she waved the scribe away and sank back against the pillows with a relieved sigh.

Veronica sat back down and set the cup aside, grabbing Cass' hand.

The redhead grinned and looked over at Veronica. "Hey."

"Hi," the scribe murmured. "How do you feel?"

"Alive." Cass' grin grew and she let out a raspy chuckle. "Goddamn, the doc did it, didn't she?"

"Yeah, she did," Veronica said, smiling. She gave Cass' hand a squeeze and wiped away tears as inconspicuously as she could.

Cass was still exhausted, but she reached up and pressed her fingers to her neck to feel the pulse thudding under her fingertips. She was alive.

A door whisked open and Schuler strode in, pausing at the foot of the cowgirl's bed. After a disdainful glance at Veronica that made the scribe shrink into her seat, Schuler turned her attention to Cass. "Good, you're awake." She checked a few of the computers that were monitoring Cass and nodded to herself. "The surgery was a success. You may have a few more attacks over the next few days, but they will be minor, and should cease to be a problem for you afterward."

A success. Cass blinked away the burn of tears in her eyes, managing a smile up at the doctor. "Thanks," she rasped.

The doctor nodded again. "I would like to monitor you for the next few days, and you should avoid strenuous activity. Bed rest for you, Miss Cassidy."

"I think I can manage that," the cowgirl joked. "Thank you, doc."

Schuler gave Cass a polite smile and excused herself with a promise that she'd check in later. She disappeared to another part of the clinic, leaving Cass and Veronica alone.

"You can go back to sleep if you're still groggy," Veronica offered after a minute. "I slept for like three days when I had my appendix out."

The thought of more sleep did sound enticing, but Cass wanted to enjoy the time with Veronica, especially now that she wasn't living on borrowed time. She shook her head and propped herself up against the pillows a little more securely. The redhead shot Veronica a smile and rubbed at an itch on her chest. She paused when she felt the lump of gauze under her gown and pulled the collar up to look.

"The hell?" Cass muttered, running her fingers over the bandages on her chest. "Thought they weren't gonna cut in."

"They didn't," Veronica admitted, swallowing hard. "You were right about the anesthesia. They had to… I don't know, shock you, I guess, to get your heart started again." She dropped her head into her hands and exhaled shakily. "God, Cass. I was so scared."

Cass peeled away the corner of one of the bandages, studying the burn marks on her chest. She made a face and returned her attention to Veronica, surprised at how close the scribe was to falling apart. "Hey now, Ronnie," she soothed, awkwardly patting the scribe's knee. "It's all fine, honest."

Veronica nodded slowly, taking a few deep breaths to compose herself. Finally, she looked up at the redhead and managed a wobbly smile, though she appeared to be completely wrung out. There were dark circles under her eyes, and the whites of her eyes were bloodshot from crying and exhaustion.

Cass frowned at the sight. "You haven't been sleepin', have you?" The words were meant as a question, but they came out as a gentle accusation.

"No," Veronica admitted guiltily, rubbing at her eyes.

The word was loaded with worry, and Cass felt like she'd had the wind knocked out of her. Veronica hadn't slept because of her, and the redhead swallowed guilt and turned a fond look on the scribe. "You shoulda. Can't imagine it was much fun just sittin' here waiting."

The scribe snorted and shook her head. "Not really."

"Get some sleep, Ronnie. I'm the only one taking up a bed, there's plenty." Cass gestured to the empty infirmary to prove her point, smiling when Veronica followed her gaze and nodded.

Veronica bit her lip and looked to Cass, uncertainty plain on her face.

"I'm not goin' anywhere," the redhead promised. "Quit worryin' and rest."

Veronica started to protest, but had to stifle a yawn instead. She grinned sheepishly and gave Cass' hand a squeeze, then got to her feet. "Wake me up if you need anything, Cass. I mean it."

The cowgirl scoffed and waved Veronica away, watching as the scribe stepped over to the nearest cot and fell onto it. Cass grinned when Veronica burrowed into the pillow; the brunette was adorable without even trying.

"G'night, Rosie," Veronica murmured, peering at the redhead through one eye. She smiled when Cass echoed the words, then closed her eyes and fell asleep.

The cowgirl sank into her own pillow and stared up at the ceiling. She ran her fingers over the bandages on her chest absently, trying to believe it was all real. Her heart was cured and she was going to live.

She drifted in and out of sleep, the unfamiliar room making her uneasy until she glanced over and saw Veronica nearby. Watching the gentle rise and fall of the brunette's chest was enough to soothe Cass and she allowed herself to doze off again.

Schuler stepped in to monitor Cass some time later, the sound rousing the cowgirl from her sleep. She blinked in the doctor's direction blearily, offering Schuler a grin.

The doctor didn't return it, her eyes going to the empty chair at Cass' bedside. She nodded to herself, then spotted Veronica sleeping in the next bed. Schuler made a noise of displeasure, striding over to the cot.

"Let her sleep," the cowgirl protested, pushing herself up on her elbow.

The doctor paused and looked over at Cass. There was a protest obvious in her eyes, but Cass ignored that and cut her off before she could speak.

"No one else is in here," Cass said, trying to appeal to Schuler's common sense. "Ain't like she's takin' a bed from anyone."

"It's against regulations." Even in the dim light, the doctor's eyes were cold.

"Fuck your regulations!" the cowgirl snapped, keeping her voice low. "She's wore out, 'n I want her here. Let her sleep."

Schuler's eyes flashed and she set her jaw, obviously angry at being ordered around by an outsider. After a long moment she stepped away from Veronica's bed. She moved back to Cass and did a quick examination, then disappeared into her office once again.

The cowgirl stayed awake for a while after that, keeping an eye on Veronica. When she finally sank back into her pillow, a smile grew on her face. Even as a bedridden patient, she could still defend the woman she loved.

=====:=====

Schuler's voice brought Cass out of sleep, and the redhead shook her off and tried to ignore the doctor. Schuler wasn't having any of it and began the check up anyway. Cass finally relented and sat up, allowing herself to be prodded and examined.

A glance around the empty infirmary sent a cool rush of fear through Cass. "Where's Veronica?" She looked at the doctor sharply. "I toldja to let her stay!"

Schuler gave Cass a level stare and shook her head. "I didn't disturb her, Miss Cassidy. Veronica woke of her own accord and left to refresh herself. She told me she would return shortly."

Cass ignored the prickle of shame that danced across the back of her neck and ducked her head. "Oh."

Schuler didn't say anything as she finished the rest of the exam. She sat back in her chair and studied the redhead for a few moments, then nodded to herself. "You mentioned that chemical stimulants had an adverse affect on you."

The cowgirl nodded hesitantly, giving the doctor a critical look. "Yeah. Hear tell they nearly killed my dad once. He never tried 'em again."

Schuler didn't have much of a reaction, only to bow her head in sympathy for a second. "The procedure should have destroyed the tissue that caused that reaction, along with what was causing the attacks." She reached for a tray of medical equipment, locating a syringe and holding it up for Cass to see. "If you would like, while you're still under medical supervision, we can administer some Med-X. While there is little doubt in my mind that you're completely cured…"

Cass eyed the Med-X uncertainly. "Why? What makes you wanna risk it?"

Schuler shook her head. "You misunderstand. I don't believe there's any risk involved. It would merely be beneficial to know whether or not your heart can tolerate chems. In the middle of a fight, a shot of Med-X could save your life, Miss Cassidy."

Cass' mind flashed back to the relief that had flooded Veronica's face when her arm had been broken, and she bit her lip. She thought about the way her father had always stressed that she avoid chems at all costs, or she would die. But that was due to their mutual heart condition, she knew it was. The doctor had a point; this was a safe environment to test whether or not her heart was fully cured.

Schuler was patient, her face calm and impassive.

"What the hell," Cass muttered after a moment. "So long as it ain't gonna kill me, may as well try it."

The doctor smirked and shook her head. "You're in capable hands, Cassidy." She swabbed Cass' arm and readied the Med-X, then injected half of the chem dose into the redhead's arm.

Even with Schuler's light touch, Cass cringed when the needle pierced her skin. She stayed tense for a few seconds, waiting for her heart to explode. A warm, drowsy feeling settled over her, calming her nerves. She smiled slightly and opened one eye to peer at Schuler. "Not dead yet," she joked.

Schuler smiled, the first genuine smile Cass had seen on her face. "Wonderful. I believe you're fully cured." She set the syringe aside and entered some notes into the computer, then returned her attention to Cass. "While I'm sure you're aware of this, you should keep in mind that you're predisposed to addiction, as was evidenced by your drinking problem."

The cowgirl nodded, still monitoring her heart idly. "So no binging on chems. Got it. After all those years of avoiding 'em, I think I can manage that. Feels nice, but…" She shrugged. No matter how relaxing the medicine was, she couldn't shake the subconscious fear that it would kill her when she least expected it.

The doctor gave Cass a pleased smile and typed a few more things into the computer. "Good. Call me if you experience any discomfort." She got to her feet and headed for the door.

Veronica opened the door just as Schuler approached, nearly running into the doctor. She flushed and stepped aside, apologizing, but Schuler brushed past her without a word. Veronica frowned, then turned her attention to Cass and walked into the infirmary.

"Hi," she murmured, settling in the chair Schuler had just vacated. Her smile was warm and she reached for Cass' hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

The cowgirl tangled her fingers with Veronica's, preventing the brunette from pulling away. "Y'look like you feel better."

Veronica nodded. "I took a shower and got something to eat. Sorry I wasn't here." She glanced down at their hands and the tips of her ears went faintly pink. The scribe looked back up and studied Cass, her eyes warm and deep.

Cass felt a silly smile stretch across her face, then wished the lighting was better so she could lose herself in Veronica's gaze.

The scribe hesitated and lifted her free hand, tilting Cass' chin into the light. "Are you feeling okay? Your eyes look… different."

"Doc thought we oughta see if chems'd kill me," the redhead answered, waving away Veronica's concern. "I'm fine. Just half a dose of Med-X."

The uncertainty didn't fade from Veronica's face, and she glanced at Schuler's office, glaring slightly. "If you're sure."

"Hasn't killed me yet." Cass offered Veronica a placating grin. "Relax."

"Excuse me for being scared of something that would have killed you a week ago," the scribe retorted, cringing as soon as the words left her mouth. "Sorry. I just…" She sighed and rubbed at her forehead. "I don't wanna lose you, Cass."

The words were quiet and loaded with feeling, and the redhead swallowed. "You ain't going to. Doc just fixed my heart, so I think I'll stick around for a while."

Veronica gazed at Cass, blinking away the tears that formed in her eyes. "You better." She smiled and gave the cowgirl's hand a squeeze.

They fell silent, both enjoying the gentle weight of their hands together. Cass settled back into her pillow and waited for the Med-X to wear off. She kept waiting for her heart to start pounding in her chest, but it never did. Veronica's fingertips pressed against her wrist every few minutes, but the steady pulse didn't waver.

When the chem finally wore off, a headache formed behind Cass' eyes, but she chose not to mention it. The cowgirl opened her eyes and offered Veronica a smile. "Y'know, seein' you all clean is making me feel awful grungy."

The scribe went and asked Schuler if Cass was okay to get up and move around, then managed to convince the doctor to let her take Cass to the showers. Veronica grabbed a change of clothes from the redhead's bag, then helped Cass out of her bed.

As they wandered through the bunker, Cass was acutely aware of being stared at. At first she thought it was because of the itchy robe she'd been given to cover up with or the state of her hair, but then she realized that the haughty looks were directed at Veronica.

The brunette didn't say much, avoiding making eye contact and offering weak smiles when she met someone's gaze. She ushered Cass into the showers and forced a bright smile onto her face. "Here we go. Looks like you've got it all to yourself! No bathtubs, sorry, but you can sit down if you need to. Or call me. I can help, if you're, uh, okay with that."

The rambling was a lame distraction from the derision Cass had just witnessed, but she let it slide and smirked. "If I drown, I'll call you."

Veronica rolled her eyes and pointed out the towels, then slipped out to give Cass some privacy.

Cass avoided getting the bandages on her chest and leg wet as best she could, though the shower stream was finicky and hard to keep steady. She had to constantly wrestle the pressure knob, and Cass managed to get soap in her eyes while rinsing her hair.

In spite of her troubles, the redhead felt refreshed and much more human when she emerged from the shower. Veronica hopped up from her spot on the floor, eyeing the jeans and loose shirt appreciatively.

"I like not seeing you in a hospital gown," the scribe decided, smiling.

Cass was tempted to make some flirtatious comment, but a Brotherhood guard strolled by and she decided to keep it to herself. "Feel like showin' me around? I don't wanna go back to that fuckin' clinic right away."

Veronica grinned at the comment and nodded, offering Cass her arm. The redhead took it without so much as an eyeroll, and Veronica began taking her on a tour of the bunker. The scribe pointed out reactor rooms and places where she'd had schooling.

Cass enjoyed the tour much more than she had expected; seeing where Veronica had grown up and hearing the scribe tell stories about her childhood warmed Cass in ways she hadn't felt for years. She smiled when Veronica pointed out a closet she'd been caught making out with her first girlfriend, ignoring the jealousy that tugged at her chest. She was tempted to pull Veronica into that same closet, but the scribe just led her on and continued the tour.

They walked into the archives, where a balding man was bustling around nervously. He spotted Veronica and threw his hands up in consternation. "Veronica, you can't bring outsiders in here! You know the rules!"

"I'm just showing her around, Ibsen," the brunette protested, though she looked sufficiently chastised.

"We're very busy in here," Ibsen replied shortly, turning around to type into a computer.

Veronica bit her lip and offered to help, but the man waved her away like she was a pesky fly. Cass bristled at the dismissal, but the scribe just took her hand and led her away.

"That's where I worked," Veronica explained after a moment, leading Cass back through the hallways of the bunker. "Before they decided I'd be better off scavving outside."

Cass frowned, picking up on the note of bitterness in the scribe's voice. "By yourself," she guessed.

Veronica nodded and looked away. "They didn't want to spare a Knight that could be guarding the bunker." She shrugged like it didn't matter and turned back down the hallway toward the clinic.

Cass didn't want to believe that the place Veronica considered home was full of people that didn't even care about the brunette. She hated the way everyone was ignoring Veronica, and desperately wished she could steal the scribe away and make her forget the way the Brotherhood treated her.

Veronica opened the clinic door and let Cass enter first, following her back to the redhead's bed. She dropped into the chair at Cass' bedside, rubbing at her face wearily.

Cass sat on the bed gingerly, then glanced over at the scribe. "Ronnie…"

"I'm fine," Veronica mumbled, sitting up straight and smiling weakly. "I just… I'm fine."

The cowgirl opened her mouth to respond, but the sound of footsteps distracted her.

A Brotherhood initiate with a nasty looking gash in his arm came walking in, flanked by his unimpressed superior officer. Schuler followed after them, tending to the wound as soon as the initiate was sitting down.

Cass and Veronica both tried to ignore the initiate, but neither woman felt like talking.

The officer spotted Veronica and frowned, muttering to Schuler in low tones. The doctor answered dismissively, stitching up the laceration.

The officer stayed put for a few minutes, then couldn't stand it any longer and marched over. "Scribe Santangelo!" His voice cracked like a whip.

Veronica flinched, but turned to offer the man a polite smile. "Hey, Knight Burns. How're the kids?"

Knight Burns ignored the small talk. "This goes against regulations!" he seethed, jabbing a finger toward Cass. "Only full Brotherhood members are allowed treatment in our clinic!"

Veronica shrunk into her seat. "I know. But this is different—"

"It is no different! I should submit a report to Elder McNamara," the officer continued. "We'll see how he likes having his precious resources used on outsiders." He spat the word out, making it sound like a terrible insult.

Cass didn't feel insulted in the slightest; she knew she didn't belong. She had no idea how Veronica had managed to bend the rules and get her in for treatment, but the truth was that she was an outsider. There was no shame in it.

Veronica scowled at the words, obviously offended on the cowgirl's behalf. "Hey!"

"Time and time again, you have rejected the Codex, Scribe Santangelo. You refuse to bring your behavior up to standards, and you are constantly disgracing our chapter." Burns glared at the brunette, silently daring her to protest. "Not only have you gone carousing with unsuspecting young women and forced them to stray from the Codex, you knowingly took part in the experiments of a madman! Is it any wonder your assignments are of so little importance? You are a danger to this chapter!"

Veronica cringed and dropped her gaze to the floor. Her shoulders slumped and she was obviously trying not to crumble in on herself.

"On top of it all, you bring outsiders into our sanctuary! You have no respect for the chapter, the Codex, or the entire Brotherhood!" The knight's eyes were flashing. "The Brotherhood may be your family, Scribe, but you have never brought us any honor. McNamara has been far too easy on you, considering your constant insubordination and disrespect of the Brotherhood. You are a disgrace, and—"

"Burns," Schuler called from across the room, her voice firm. "Would you go to my office and beginning filling out an incident report? I don't believe Initiate O'Reilly is quite up to the task."

Knight Burns bristled, but glanced at the doctor and nodded curtly. "Yes, ma'am." He shot one more glare at Cass and Veronica, then turned on his heel and stalked out into the office.

Cass' ears were ringing from the verbal lashing Veronica had received, and she looked at the brunette. Veronica's eyes were watering and she was biting her lip as she stared at the floor. Her hands were curled into fists, but Cass saw the tremble in them.

Anger exploded in Cass' chest and she was tempted to storm out into the office and beat the living daylights out of the knight. She wasn't going to let anyone talk to Veronica that way and get away with it.

She nearly got up to give Burns a piece of her mind, but was struck with a sobering realization. Everyone in the Brotherhood had treated Veronica the same way, to some degree. Standing up to one person wouldn't do anything to solve the problem; Veronica would only get belittled by someone else. Nothing Cass did would make things easier on the brunette. In fact, she could end up making the Brotherhood resent Veronica even more than they obviously already did.

"That's it," Cass snapped, fury blazing through her veins. "We're gettin' the hell outta here."

Veronica looked up, her brow knitting uncertainly. "Cass, it's okay—"

"No! Fuck no, that's bullshit. It's not okay!" The redhead swung her legs off the bed and stood, swaying slightly at the sudden movement.

Veronica stood up to steady her, but her eyes were still reluctant.

"I'm not stayin' here while you get treated like shit," the redhead said simply. She grabbed her jacket and yanked it on, then picked up her bag off the table and headed for the clinic door. "Thanks, doc," she snapped at Schuler, regretting the sharpness of her voice but not stopping to apologize.

Veronica trailed along after her, still obviously uneasy. "Are you sure?"

Cass nodded. "Abso-fuckin-lutely." She stepped into the office and shot Knight Burns the deadliest glare she could manage. Every part of her wanted to cross the room and shove the officer into the wall, but Cass resisted the urge for Veronica's sake.

A victorious sneer began to grow on the knight's face, and he crossed his arms over his chest. Burns glanced at Veronica, who refused to make eye contact, and he had the gall to smile.

"Fuck you," Cass snapped, putting as much venom in the words as she could. She stormed out of the office and into the hallway, livid.

Veronica followed her and fell into step beside the redhead. If she was put off by what Cass was doing, she didn't say anything. Instead, she guided Cass to the bunker exit, correcting the cowgirl's wrong turns quietly.

Patrolling Brotherhood guards all made it a point to ignore Veronica, only to murmur as soon as the pair had passed. The snickering that followed in their wake sent a rush of irritation down Cass' spine, but she bit her lip and continued toward the exit.

"Good riddance," a patrolling guard muttered as the pair walked past.

Cass wheeled around and glared at him, the anger in her system igniting into full-blown rage. "'Scuse me?"

The guard looked surprised to have been called out, but he turned to Cass and stared her down. "Good day," he said evenly.

"That ain't what you said," the redhead growled.

"Cass, c'mon," Veronica pleaded, catching the redhead's arm. "It's not worth it."

The guard toyed with his laser rifle, making a show of it to deter the cowgirl from responding. "I think you'd better leave."

Cass scowled, but let Veronica pull her away to the stairs.

"You didn't need to do that," Veronica murmured as they started up the long flight of stairs.

"Didn't you hear him?" Cass shot back. "Don't tell me that's normal!"

Veronica was quiet, and the cowgirl looked over her shoulder to see the scribe looking down in shame. The sight nearly sucked the wind out of Cass' sails, but the realization that Veronica considered the treatment was normal gave way to a fresh rush of defensive anger.

"Fuck all'a them!" the redhead snarled, climbing the stairs in a rage. "That ain't family, Veronica! That's a bunker full'a self-righteous dicks too scared of the world to realize what they got in front of 'em!" She paused to catch her breath, vaguely glad that she'd reached the top of the metal stairs.

Veronica didn't say anything, waiting with Cass while the cowgirl fumed.

Cass took a few deep breaths, then headed for the door. She and Veronica stepped into the wasteland, and the door shut behind them with an obnoxious screech. They both flinched at the noise, and then silence settled over the valley.

"They're my family," Veronica began, but Cass cut her off before she could say more.

"Don't fuckin' defend them, Veronica!" the redhead growled, rounding on the scribe. "They treat you like shit, I saw 'em!" She was furious that Veronica could even begin to consider the Brotherhood family, and Cass had half a mind to storm back down into the bunker and yell at whoever was in charge. "You're fuckin' amazing, and they can't even pull their heads outta their asses to see it!"

Tears welled up in Veronica's eyes, but there was no anger on her face. It took Cass a minute to realize that she'd backed the scribe up against the bunker door, and she paused, bemused by how close they were.

"Don't go back in there," Cass said after a few moments, gazing at Veronica. The urge to kiss her swelled up in Cass' chest, but she hesitated, strangely nervous. "You deserve a hell of a lot better'n them. There's people up here that love you, Ronnie." Her mouth went dry and she swallowed. "I… look, I know I can be a shitty friend, but… Veronica, I lo—"

A smile flashed across Veronica's face, and she grabbed Cass' jacket and surged forward, kissing the redhead soundly. It was overwhelming and eager and perfect, and Cass' knees nearly gave out.

The fans dotting the valley started up with a groan, one after the other, and the sand began swirling around their feet. The women broke apart and stared at each other for a second. Cass wasn't sure who moved first, but then their lips met again and her mind went fuzzy. She could have stayed there and kissed Veronica forever, but breathing became more important and Cass pulled away reluctantly.

Veronica beamed, then plucked Cass' bandana from the redhead's back pocket. "C'mon." She pulled her hood on and offered Cass the bandana, still smiling.

Cass spread the bandana over her mouth and nose, then took the scribe's hand in her own. Veronica took off through the sandstorm, guiding Cass through the swirling grains. It didn't take long for the brunette to escape the valley, and as soon as they were free of the sandstorm, Veronica pushed her hood back and turned to grin at Cass.

"How's your balance?" the scribe asked, her eyes bright. "There's a path we can use to get past Black Mountain but it's a little tricky."

Cass snorted. "Well, I'm not drunk, so I reckon my balance is the best it's ever been, Ronnie. Sure, what the hell, let's do it. Gotta be better'n centaurs or muties."

The brunette laughed and led Cass to the path. She stayed close beside the redhead, pointing out safe places to step and helping Cass maintain her footing. Even though they moved slowly and carefully, it wasn't long before Veronica helped Cass slide down onto the flat desert ground and grinned at her proudly. "Not too shabby, Rosie," she teased. "You even made it in one piece."

Cass rolled her eyes and tugged at the brim of her hat. "Doubt you woulda let me fall even if I wanted to."

Veronica regarded her fondly. "Not a chance," she agreed, smiling.

The pair started back toward New Vegas, walking slowly to go easy on the cowgirl's recovering heart. Veronica lingered at Cass' side, keeping their fingers gently wound together. She only darted away to strip some fruit off a rare banana yucca plant, and the scribe returned to Cass with her prize moments later. They shared the sweet fruit as they walked, and Veronica told stories of eating unripe yucca and being afraid of her mouth sticking in a permanent pucker. The redhead laughed, gazing over at Veronica fondly. An impulse struck her, and Cass caught the scribe's arm and kissed the sweetness off the brunette's lips.

A dazed grin was on Veronica's face when the redhead pulled away. She gazed at the cowgirl for a moment, then started laughing and looped her arms around Cass' neck. She dropped a few more quick kisses on Cass' mouth, hugging the redhead close. "I love you," she admitted, sounding giddy. "You're gonna live and I love you!"

The laughter was infectious and Cass found herself laughing along with the brunette. She wrapped her arms around Veronica's middle and hugged her tightly, then blinked away the tears that stung in her eyes. She wasn't living on borrowed time anymore, and she was free to try and treat the brunette the way that Veronica deserved.

It was too hot to stay wrapped up in each other's arms for long, but when they broke away, Cass kept their hands tangled together.

They walked for a while without speaking, letting the crumbling Pre-war roads pass under their feet. New Vegas grew closer, the casinos growing larger as they approached the city.

"Did you quit drinking because of me?" Veronica asked, breaking the silence. Her voice was gentle and curious, with no hint of accusation.

"Yeah." The word fell out of her mouth without Cass even thinking about it. "Mostly you, yeah. But also 'cause I was sick'a hurtin' people I care about. I do some stupid shit when I'm drunk."

Veronica didn't answer, staring across the wasteland thoughtfully. She seemed to sense Cass looking at her and offered the cowgirl a smile. "Remember how you asked if I had something I wanted to talk about that night you and Six got back from seeing the Boomers?"

Cass ignored the anxiety that pooled in her belly. "Yeah."

Veronica gave the redhead's hand a squeeze when she heard the uncertainty in her voice. "It's not bad, don't worry. I just… I wanna tell you now." Her cheeks reddened slightly and she kept her gaze on Vegas so she wouldn't have to look at Cass. "While you were gone, I did a lot of thinking. About when you tried to kiss me, mostly, but about a lot of stuff."

There wasn't any bitterness in the brunette's voice and Cass hesitantly allowed herself to relax.

Veronica bit her lip thoughtfully, silent for a few moments. "I mean, I really wanted to kiss you that night. But I was scared," she admitted. "I already knew I loved you, and I didn't want to just be some drunk fling, y'know?" She ducked her head, ashamed, but she relaxed slightly when Cass rubbed her thumb over the scribe's knuckles.

"You're more'n that," the redhead promised quietly.

Veronica blushed and stumbled over words. It took her a minute to regain her composure, and she gave Cass a playful glare. "So what I wanted to talk about was… Well, I realized I wanted you enough that drinking didn't matter. You never gave me a reason not to trust you, and I love you more than I hate the alcohol. You don't have to change who you are just for me. So I was just going to try and tell you that. And maybe see if you still wanted that kiss."

"Course I do," Cass responded instantly. "Much rather get drunk on you kissin' me than any bottle of whiskey."

Veronica looked torn between blushing and snorting. "Why Rosie," she teased, "I do believe that's the corniest thing I've ever heard you say."

Cass rolled her eyes and elbowed the scribe gently. Veronica laughed and ducked away, then pointed out an abandoned gas station and led Cass to it.

"It's hot," the scribe decided as she pulled the door open.

Inside the station, most everything had been trashed, but there were a few chairs around a rickety table. Cass sat down across from Veronica and pulled a bottle of water out of her bag. She twisted the cap off and raised the bottle to the scribe, then took a long drink.

Veronica watched her, a proud smile growing at the corner of her mouth. She pawed through her own bag and found a bottle of sarsaparilla, popping the cap off with part of the hydraulic bars on her power fist.

"Didn't know they made those with bottle openers," the redhead teased, raising an eyebrow at Veronica.

The scribe grinned sheepishly. "They don't." She took a sip and gave a relieved sigh, then looked at Cass again. "But the parts there are strong enough that it won't hurt them. I checked."

They sat there and talked a little, mostly enjoying the relief from the sun and the comfort of each other's presence. Veronica drained her drink and got up, looking around at the junk in the station. She found a few bits of scrap electronics and a pilot light, tucking them into her backpack.

Cass watched the brunette work for a while, struck by how normal everything felt. It was almost like nothing had changed since that first trip where Veronica had seen her heart condition act up. It was strange; she expected their interactions to feel different. "Hey Ronnie?"

The scribe looked up from the fission battery she was fiddling with. "Yeah?"

Cass wasn't sure how to put her thoughts into words and looked down at her hands. "How's all this change things? Kissin' you, I mean," she added, feeling foolish.

Veronica was quiet for a moment, then tucked away the battery and walked over to Cass' side. She crouched there, dusting her hands off on her pants before resting them on the redhead's knee. "I'm not gonna make you settle down and have kids, if that's what you're worried about," she quipped. "It doesn't change anything. I like what we have going now, just… I get to make out with you now. And maybe other stuff, when you're better."

Cass laughed at that, waggling her eyebrows at the brunette. "Other stuff?"

"You know what I mean," the scribe muttered, averting her gaze as her cheeks reddened.

The cowgirl grinned at the embarrassment on Veronica's face, then tilted Veronica's chin up and dropped a kiss on her lips. "God, you're cute."

Veronica pouted, though a traitorous smile grew on her face a second later. "You're not so bad yourself, Rosie."

The scribe scavenged a few more bits of tech before they decided to continue back toward New Vegas. As they walked out into the wasteland and Veronica launched into a story about teasing Arcade, Cass pressed her fingers to her own wrist. Her heartbeat was healthy and strong. The cowgirl smiled and threaded her fingers through Veronica's, happy to be alive.

* * *

><p>Fitting that the very longest chapter would be the last. Thanks for reading!<p> 


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